The Tension and the Terror
by frakkingblerg
Summary: Sometimes life doesn't work out exactly as you planned. But those happy accidents often lead to something great.
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter One brought to you by the incredibly fitting song 'The Tension and the Terror' by Straylight Run_

Brenda was frustrated, in every aspect of her life. It had been 6 months since the Goldman case had been resolved and Captain Raydor was still hanging around the murder room, not that the blonde minded too much. At least it gave her someone to argue with when she was feeling antsy, bored, or just because. Since Fritz had left, she found her life far too quiet. She had tried to keep herself busy, even learning a fifth recipe to add to her limited cooking repertoire. But there were only so many nights one could eat chicken enchiladas. She had considered getting a pet, her ex had taken custody of Joel claiming she couldn't be trusted to keep him alive once embroiled in a murder. She knew he was right, it wouldn't be fair to bring an animal into her rather lonely apartment, considering she was hardly ever there.

Sharon assumed that after the Goldman suit and Fritz's departure shortly after settlement, Brenda would have drowned her sorrows in a large glass of Merlot on the arm of a new man. She would have put money on Andy Flynn, or perhaps the new FBI liaison, both were easy on the eyes and practically worshiped the ground the Chief walked on. Instead she had started bringing large amounts of terrible food to the office for the team, she even gave the brunette a rather sizable pan of creamy enchiladas. The older woman had actually taken a moment to consider whether she had poisoned them, but it turned out the blonde just wanted her opinion on a new recipe. Since when did Brenda cook? And since when did she want the brunette's opinion on anything? The boys were starting to voice concern, to Sharon of all people, and wanted the Captain to talk some sense into their fearless leader who seemed to be slipping into a serious post separation funk. Concerned that the Chief was bordering on losing her mind, and a little excited that the guys had actually asked her to help, the brunette casually invited the younger woman to dinner one Tuesday night after wrapping a case.

"Dinner, Cap'n? You wanna have dinner with me?" The blonde was very confused about why the older woman had suddenly taken an interest in doing anything outside the office with her superior.

"Well Chief, I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to. Your squad and I, well, we are concerned that you're, well I, we think that maybe…" Sharon hardly ever found herself speechless, but looking into those big brown eyes had her suddenly nervous. Brenda actually looked touched by the gesture.

"I'd love to," proclaimed the blonde, wide smile spreading across her face. It took all restraint not embrace the Captain, she was just so happy someone was reaching out. The boys were obviously concerned, and they had tried to show it as best they could, but Brenda wanted someone to get drunk and commiserate with. Provenza was the only member of her team, besides Sharon if she was considered part of said team these days, who drank and had been through a divorce…or five. But somehow, the idea of going out with the older man and bonding over their sad stories sounded about as exciting as a root canal. If she was honest, she was really looking forward to seeing what Sharon was like outside of the office. There was no way she acted like Captain Raydor all the time, she had to let her hair down occasionally. Brenda made a mental note to find out more about the aloof older woman over dinner. She couldn't deny that she had had some less than innocent thoughts about the brunette. Fighting had started to seem more like foreplay, and the Chief often found herself making excuses just be near her. She even caught herself choosing Sharon to ride along over Gabriel. Between those short, well-tailored skirts and sometimes revealing button downs, Brenda was having a hard time playing it cool. Especially when driving, the brunette's skirt always seemed to ride up just enough to expose some of that well-toned thigh. The Chief caught herself practically drooling more than once. She assumed, however, that these feelings were just the result of an empty house and not enough sex. Her mind was playing tricks on her and she was confusing irritation with infatuation. There was no way she could ever fall for a woman, much less that woman. But that didn't stop her from wishing she could throw the Captain up against a file cabinet and neck like a couple of horny teenagers every time they had a heated debate.

They agreed to meet in the parking garage 15 minutes later, so Brenda could follow the brunette. She was known for her ability to get lost, even with explicit directions. Pulling up to a local bistro in west LA, the Chief parked her Crown Vic in a space next to the Captain's grey sedan and they headed toward the restaurant. The blonde practically tripped over the curb to catch up to the older woman who had set a rather brisk pace. Once inside, they were greeted by an alternative looking young host.

"Table for two?" He inquired to the brunette, who gave a polite nod.

"This way. You and your girlfriend came at just the right time, we only have one more two top available, big party coming in a bit and..." the host mumbled as he motioned to a table in the corner.

Girlfriend, seriously? Sharon knew this was a rather progressive part of town, but she wasn't sure what about the duo screamed 'we're in a relationship.' If this evening wasn't all about getting to the bottom of what was going on with the blonde, she would give that host a piece of her mind. Sitting down, she focused her attention on the wine list.

"So Cap'n, do you come here often?" Brenda couldn't seem to take her eyes of the older woman, noticing how graceful she seemed practically gliding across the room and into her chair.

"I've been here a few times in the past, they're known for their shrimp and grits, although I've only ever ordered chicken," confessed the brunette, who was too busy glancing over the menu to look up.

"Grits? In Los Angeles?"

"I assumed that was something you might be fond of, Chief. Isn't that a staple in the south," Sharon deadpanned, finally looking up, shooting the blonde a slight smirk, green eyes dancing.

"Since we're off the clock, I think you can call me Brenda. And I'm sure not every southerner likes them, but I certainly do. Thanks, by the way, for thinkin' of that." Brenda was touched by the extra effort the brunette had obviously put into picking a restaurant that served something so near and dear to the Chief.

"Not a problem, Brenda. I figured a bit of home couldn't hurt. And I may have read somewhere that grits were the official processed food of Georgia," purred Sharon.

Wait, had the Chief even said she could call her Brenda? Oh Jesus, was she flirting? The brunette needed to get her shit together, flirting with a superior was a horrible decision. Especially when that superior happened to be the object of your affection, for oh, the last three years, give or take a day. Sharon had never been attracted to women, she hadn't gone through that experimental phase in college. This desire for the blonde had taken her completely off guard and was often just plain confusing, considering she didn't even like the Chief most of the time. Brenda was incredibly selfish, completely disregarding rules when it was convenient, and generally seemed like a mess. These were not characteristics Sharon normally found enticing. But it was those same qualities that thrilled the Captain and made her want to take care of the younger woman, to protect her. This instinct was completely foreign to Sharon, she had never wanted to protect anyone she had romantic feelings for. Sure, she wanted to shield her children from a world that was often cruel, but those same maternal instincts were now coupled with an equally strong desire to kiss the younger woman senseless. This affection had appeared soon after the brunette had closed her case against Det. Gabriel. Sharon couldn't help but admire how loyal the Chief was when it came to people she cared about and to what lengths she would go to make those responsible pay. Then the Goldman case had come up, and she had witnessed the once strong woman nearly fall apart, especially after they had discovered the leak was Gabriel's fiancé. To top off the shitshow that was now Brenda's new life, Fritz's sudden departure to DC. Apparently he had had enough of being second to his wife's career, although claimed he was offered a job he couldn't refuse. How the woman hadn't completely lost it by now was beyond Sharon's comprehension.

"So, what are we drinkin' this evening?" Brenda assumed the older woman would dictate their wine choice, considering she did like being in charge…and going first.

"I figured you could pick. I enjoy almost all wine, as long as it isn't cheap and doesn't come from a box. So why don't you chose a nice Merlot?" The captain smiled at her dinner companion. Hiding her desire for the blonde was harder than she'd anticipated.

"You're gonna let me choose? If you were a man, I would swear this was turnin' into the best date I've ever been on. Shrimp and grits AND I get to choose the wine? I could get used to this," drawled the blonde, beaming at the Captain. If Sharon was this kind and thoughtful outside of the office, Brenda wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. This was way better than any dinner she had been on in ages, including those with her now ex-husband.

Their waiter arrived and the Chief ordered a bottle of Sonoma County Merlot for the two to share, and the shrimp and grits. Sharon, feeling adventurous, said she would have the same. While the brunette was fiddling with the table setting, Brenda took a moment to really look at the Captain. She was absolutely stunning, especially in candlelight, and for a moment the blonde realized how amazing it felt to be with another person that took your breath away.

Sharon looked up from the sugar packet holder and noticed the younger woman staring. Blushing slightly, she quickly dropped her head down, hoping to hide the reaction. Recently she's gotten the impression that this could be a mutual infatuation. Aside from their current situation, the Captain had observed the blonde practically drooling over a particularly short skirt she wore the week before. Sharon may or may not have continued to wear that skirt almost every other day, enjoying the attention the Chief was constantly paying her as a result. Good thing it was black, otherwise it might have been obvious that she was breaking some serious fashion rules. It also seemed like the younger woman was attempting to spend a little extra time with the brunette, asking her to ride along instead of Gabriel on a number of recent investigations. But it had been a long time since Sharon had even considered playing hard to get, maybe she was just misinterpreting things, maybe Brenda just needed a friend.

"Everything alright, Sharon? You seem awful quiet over there?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, I'm fine. Just thinking, sorry." Sharon shrugged. She hadn't realized she was silently staring off into space, still fiddling with the sugar. Saved by the waiter, their drinks arrived. The brunette took a rather large swig and sighed into her wine.

"What were you thinkin' about?" Inquired the blonde, sipping her drink slowly, refusing to pull her gaze off the Captain.

"Nothing really. So how are things?"

Sharon was surprised how easily conversation flowed between the two and how candidly the blonde had talked about her new single life. It also helped that each had already downed a glass and a half of wine in a rather short period. The Chief had told her how boring it was at home, and how much she missed someone to talk with about things other than murder. Genuinely feeling bad for the younger woman, after all Sharon had been in the same situation, she suggested they perhaps try a lunch that weekend if a case didn't come up.

The blonde's jaw almost dropped with the suggestion of another outing. It was like Sharon could read her mind, which hopefully wasn't the case because the Chief was once again finding herself thinking some less than pure thoughts. Brenda had found it quite easy to share what was going on with the older woman. Usually she found talking about her feelings nerve racking and uncomfortable, but the Captain's warm smile and gentle ways had her confessing almost every detail of her failed relationship. Over dinner, Brenda couldn't help but monopolize their time together, venting about what she thought went wrong with Fritz. It had been so long since she actually had someone to talk to, especially someone who didn't seem to judge.

"…And I knew he was unhappy. But I guess I was just so involved in the lawsuit, I must have missed him tryin' to tell me how he felt. I just don't understand, I tried to be the best wife I could but he knew the job came first when he married me. I feel like he was the one who put on an act, pretendin' that he was okay with exactly who I was. When the whole time he had an agenda, tryin' to make me settle down, hopin' I would be happy to have a couple kids and move to DC with him. I tried, but I just couldn't, I couldn't be who he wanted…" The blonde was close to tears, she hadn't ever told anyone how much he had ruined her self-esteem. How much she had started to doubt everything she stood for. The lawsuit was one thing, it had questioned her ethics as an officer, but in the end she knew she'd done the right thing. Fritz made her feel worthless because she wasn't interested in fitting into his life plan for them and she couldn't always rationalize why she didn't want the same things. Toward the end, he was constantly putting her down for being so selfish, choosing her job over motherhood. She had started to believe that she was the problem, maybe she wasn't worthy enough of anyone. Perhaps she was destined to be alone. At that low moment, lost in her thoughts, she felt a hand cover her own. It was a simple gesture that meant the world to the blonde and she felt the tears begin to fall.

"Brenda, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry by prying. Look, you are an amazing officer and a loyal ally. I realize we don't really get along, I wouldn't even call us friends. But I know how you feel and I've been there. Don't allow yourself to define who you are by what someone else thinks or how they treat you. At the end of the day put yourself first, there is never a guarantee that someone else will." Sharon squeezed the blonde's hand, but didn't let go, fighting the urge to jump up and wrap her in a hug. It was hard to go back sometimes, to remember what it was like when she finally left her husband, and her heart ached seeing the blonde in such sorrow. Realizing that she was still holding the Chief's hand, she gently pulled away and busied herself with pushing the rest of her food around on the plate. She actually heard the blonde sigh at the loss of contact.

This meal was not going as Brenda had planned. She still knew relatively nothing about the Captain, opting to have an emotional breakdown instead. Perfect, Sharon probably thought she had gone off the deep end. But the most surprising thing was how much the brunette did seem to understand. The Chief made a note to find out more, once she pulled it together. For now, she would enjoy just being with the other woman.

Brenda had attempted to pay for the meal, but Sharon had refused. After all, the Captain had invited the younger woman to dinner. As they went to leave, Brenda gently placed her hand on the small of Sharon's back, guiding her to the door. She felt the Captain flinch at the initial contact, but relax into the simple act. Maybe the older woman had more feelings for her then she was letting on? Once outside, the blonde dropped her hand and they slowly walked back through the parking lot. Reaching the destination, they awkwardly faced each other, unsure of how to end the evening. Sharon extended her hand for a shake as the blonde grabbed her for a rather unexpected hug. Uncertain of how to respond, the brunette gave her a quick squeeze and attempted to extract herself. The Chief refused to let go completely, but took a step back, hands still on the brunette's back. Brenda's mind was telling her this was bordering on inappropriate and if Sharon wasn't interested, there would be hell to pay. But her heart wouldn't allow her to let go, she wanted to see how the Captain would react. The blonde needed to know if this passion was shared, knowing she would let it go if that wasn't the case.

"You have beautiful eyes, Sharon," purred the blonde. She had never really noticed how they sparkled emerald under those dark framed glasses.

Sharon was sure she was about to pass out, there was no way the blonde was this close, holding her. Glancing down, she attempted to shrug away. Her efforts to extract from Brenda's grasp was pointless, even if she could break free, she didn't really want to. Letting the blonde remain in her personal space was thrilling, better than she had imagined. This felt right, and the Captain could no longer deny her attraction, especially now that it was obviously reciprocated. She finally had the courage to look up, meeting large brown eyes.

They stood in that parking lot for what seemed like hours, just staring. Attempting to convey what they were feeling without words. Not wanting this to end, Brenda inched her head forward. Close enough to feel the brunette's breath, the two women sharing the same air. Taking one last step, the blonde closed the space and gently let her lips graze the Captain's. Sharon froze, hesitating for a moment, then relaxed into the kiss. That first kiss was a test, a chaste exchange to gauge what the other was feeling. Once their mutual affection was understood, Brenda attempted to deepen the act, begging for access into the older woman's mouth. The brunette was more than happy to oblige, and they spent the next few minutes exploring each other, trying to express their feelings with tender touches.

Sharon came to, after a shameless ten minute make out session with the Chief. Somehow her hands had shifted down, and were placed on Brenda's ass, lightly squeezing. The blonde's hands were wandering, drawling lines and patterns down her sides and across her stomach, dangerously close to her breasts. Her breath hitched and she pulled away, fumbling to regain a semblance of composure. That had been amazing, but there was no way it could happen again.

"Uhh, Chief, I really must be going." Sharon threw her hands into the comfort of her suit pockets, staring down as she walked around to the driver's side of her car.

"Sharon wait, I think we should maybe talk about what just happened…" Brenda couldn't let the older woman just leave.

"Nothing to talk about, we must have just had a bit too much to drink at dinner. I really must be getting home, goodnight," snapped the brunette. And with that, she practically threw herself into her car and pealed out of the parking lot.

"Well, thanks for dinner," muttered the blonde, sarcastically, as she watched the Captain drive away.

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Had Sharon seriously let that happen? She let her guard down for one second and bam, she was making out in a parking lot like a high schooler. And surprisingly, it seemed like Brenda was extremely interested in pursuing this new revelation in their chaotic relationship. Well, this was just great. She had been doing fine for a long time, 15 years to be exact, without any prospects of a real connection. Sure, she had dated around and had a few casual flings. After all, she did have needs. But this felt like something different, it was starting to feel like love. The brunette couldn't deny she was very physically attracted to the younger woman, but it was her kindness, loyalty, and warmth that Sharon was head over heels for. Brenda wasn't like all those men she had loved and left, she was someone the Captain could see in her future. And after the marriage from hell, she really didn't have much interest in jumping back into any real commitments. It had taken her almost three years of therapy alone to get over all the emotional abuse that John Raydor had heaped on her and her girls. Not to mention all the baggage she still carried around, that little voice in the back of her head that said she wasn't worth love from anyone. Even after all these years, she could still hear John telling her that she would never amount to anything, how disappointing she was. It was still hard not to believe he was right, maybe she would never get the chance to be happy.

Brenda spent the next three days attempting to talk to the Captain. Usually Sharon spent a rather large chunk of her day in the murder room, but recently she was nowhere to be found. The blonde had called her work extension and cell phone a few times, hoping the catch the older woman off guard, but was always sent to voicemail after a few rings. By Friday afternoon, the Chief was incredibly irritated. This was just ridiculous, there was no reason they couldn't have a civil conversation about their Tuesday evening. Seeking comfort from stressful jobs and life situations led officers to casually kiss all the time, right? Worst case Brenda could blame it on the booze and how vulnerable she was feeling at that moment, but she didn't want to. She wanted Sharon to let her guard down for one second, just long enough to have an honest conversation about what was really going on. Suddenly, she had an idea. Since she wasn't getting anywhere with her usual tactics, the Chief decided to go over the brunette's head. She practically sprinted out of the murder room. Seeing no open elevators, she headed for the stairs and hurried up the three flights to Will's office. She tripped into the room, full speed, without so much as a knock.

"Chief Pope, Will, I need to speak with Cap'n Raydor. We interviewed a suspect last week and she has some paperwork that I need and she's not returnin' any of my calls…"Sometimes even Brenda surprised herself with her ability to stretch the truth to get what she wanted. She was totally flying by the seat of her pants right now, they had closed that investigation Tuesday afternoon. The blonde had simply pulled the file a few minutes ago and shredded the last few pages before barreling up to Pope's office. If the Chief was nothing else, she was resourceful.

"Brenda, she's been out since Wednesday. She took a couple of sick days, says she came down with the flu," Will murmured, only half paying attention to the blonde as he continued to study the paperwork in front of him.

"Oh that woman!" screeched the blonde. Sharon was really going to make it this hard? Well, the Chief was never one to back down from a challenge. Pulling herself together, she turned on the southern charm that Will seemed to fall for every time.

"Will, where does Cap'n Raydor live? If I could just get those documents I'll be out of her hair in two shakes of a lamb's tail. Maybe I'll even bring her some soup, make sure she's restin' up," drawled the blonde.

Will almost fell out of his chair. Did Brenda seriously want to go out of her way for the Captain? He was under the impression they still hated each other. If the Chief wanted to play nice, he was more than happy to oblige. Those two had made LAPD history with their almost constant fighting over the past few years, maybe the blonde was ready for a truce. Not wanting to get in the way of this possible ceasefire, he woke his computer screen and gave Brenda the address.

Sharon's doorbell rang around 4. She debated getting up, but it wasn't like she was expecting anyone. And her children lived to far away to drop by for an unannounced visit. If it was UPS, they could just leave the package on her doorstep, seeing as she hadn't bothered getting dressed. The doorbell rang again, and was followed by some loud knocking. Oh, for fuck's sake. She trudged downstairs and checked the peephole. All she could see was a mass of curly blonde hair. Wonderful, the last person she wanted to see was standing at her front door.

"Sharon, I know you're in there. Your car is in the driveway and I heard you walkin' to the door. I don't plan on leavin' till you open up. So just let me in, the last thing we need is someone callin' the police," the blonde huffed. She wasn't lying, there was no way she was leaving this house without answers. The Captain better get ready to listen to her knocking all night long if it came to that.

Sharon took a deep, calming breath, and plastered on her best fake smile. Opening the door just a crack, she found one hostile looking blonde starring back at her.

"Chief, what do you need? I've come down with the flu so you probably shouldn't get too close," stated the brunette calmly, refusing to open the door any further.

"I'll take my chances." Brenda pushed past the other woman and walked inside.

Once again, Sharon found her personal space being completely invaded by the younger woman. It was like the blonde was trying to drive her crazy. Not sure what to do next, she closed the door and headed to the kitchen. She knew the blonde would follow her.

"Would you like something to drink? I have coffee, tea, water…" Brenda wouldn't give her the chance to finish.

"You've been avoidin' me. That's why you called out sick, isn't it," snipped the blonde, obviously more than a little upset.

"No, I haven't been feeling well so I took some time off," explained the brunette, refusing to get worked up. Instead she decided to count tiles on the floor, an old trick that kept her calm and slightly aloof. She had perfected that skill during her long marriage.

"Does this sudden need for time off have anything to do with what happened Tuesday?" Brenda was attempting to catch Sharon's eye, but the Captain continued to stare at the floor.

"It isn't a sudden need. And since when do you care whether I come to work or not? You're not my immediate superior, I don't report to you," hissed the older woman. Did the Chief seriously think she could come into someone else's home and throw a fit like this?

"Okay, let's both calm down." Brenda always had a hard time controlling an argument with Sharon. She wasn't used to such a formidable opponent. Usually she could bat her eyelashes or use her southern charm to win even the silliest of disagreements, but the brunette wouldn't take that bait.

"Last time I checked, I am calm. You're the one who showed up here unannounced and came in guns blazing about what happened three days ago," Sharon deadpanned, finally looking up. The Captain felt more in control then ever, obviously the younger woman was flailing. And that was something she wasn't used to.

"Sharon, look, I realize what happened was unexpected, but I get the feelin' you wanted it to happen just as much as I did." Brenda decided maybe kindness was a better approach, and she gave older woman a half smile.

"Even if I did want it, I can't go around kissing a supervisor. My job requires me to enforce the rules, not break them. What kind of example would I be setting if I just disregarded policy?"

"Wait a second, didn't you just say that you don't report to me? So which is it? You can't go sayin' you don't answer to me then use my rank as a way to get out of whatever we're doin'." This was exactly the leverage Brenda needed. The Captain couldn't deny her flawed rationalization of the situation.

"And what exactly is it that we're doing?" sighed the brunette, she just plain exhausted. Over the last three days she had thought about nothing besides Brenda. What it would be like to just see where things went, to try and make it something real? She was tired of fighting this, whatever this was. But her head had always stopped her from giving in, this was wrong and could seriously affect her ability to do her job. Not getting too close to anyone had gotten her this far, she couldn't sacrifice everything she knew for something that most likely wouldn't even work out.

Brenda saw the brunette's mind going about a thousand miles a minute. She always got this adorable look when she was deep in thought, brows furrowed, head tilted slightly down, sometimes a finger lightly brushing her bottom lip. The blonde decided to close the distance between them, sliding her hands around the Captain's waist, pressing their bodies together. As thrilling as this argument was, she desperately just wanted to kiss the older woman, which would also conveniently shut her up. She looked up at the brunette, who was refusing to meet her gaze.

"Sharon, look at me."

The Captain obliged. Starring into those big brown eyes, she realized she no longer cared about rules or what anyone else thought. For one moment, she wouldn't choose what was expected, she would do what felt right.

"Tell me to stop, tell me you want me to leave," husked the blonde.

Sharon sighed and leaned in. The kiss escalated rather quickly, and soon the brunette was pressed against the kitchen counter. Brenda took the time to explore the older woman's mouth, to learn exactly what spots achieved a reaction. They couldn't seem to get enough, only occasionally breaking for air. Hearing the Captain moan after a rather gentle nibble, Brenda noted her obviously sensitive bottom lip. She would have to come back and pay that spot some extra attention. Once she felt confident that the brunette wouldn't push her away, she began to kiss her way down that lightly freckled neck. Her hands found their way to Sharon's bare ass, snaking under clothes at record speed. She felt the Captain caressing her stomach, and soon fingers were moving north, lightly stroking the underside of her breasts. It didn't take the brunette long to push her bra up and start pinching an already pebbled nipple, eliciting a rather loud moan from the younger woman. They continued this mutual exploration until the Chief's phone inconveniently rang, pulling them both back to reality. Brenda hit ignore, fully intending to go back to their earlier activity before being so rudely interrupted.

"I can't do this, you need to go," confessed the brunette, no longer able to look at the woman in front of her.

Brenda took a step back and rubbed her head with one hand, other placed firmly on her hip. This woman was incredibly confusing, the blonde was having a hard time keeping up with her hot and cold attitude.

"Sharon, do you really want me to leave?" The Captain continued to avoid eye contact and refused to answer.

"Well, if you're not gonna talk then I will. I came over here today because I want to be friends. I was hopin' we could just forget about Tuesday night, the kissin' part that is. I don't really have anyone now that Fritz is gone and you were just so kind and I'm really startin' to get lonely and…" Brenda heard the crack in her voice and stopped, trying to pull it together.

She meant what she said, she wanted the brunette in her life. It was so hard to keep everything bottled up, and she finally felt like someone understood what she was going through…even though she still knew almost nothing about the older woman. She had just gotten the impression over dinner that there was more to the Captains story, she was hurting more than she let on. Brenda knew you couldn't truly understand someone else's pain unless you had experienced it yourself. And Sharon Raydor had obviously dealt with some serious pain.

As much as the Captain wanted to exile Brenda from her life, she just couldn't. The blonde needed a friend. Sharon couldn't imagine going through her divorce without the support of her parents and a few close girlfriends to complain to. With a few ground rules, they could try to maintain a friendship. The first being they were not allowed to be left alone together, all meetings would have to be held in public. Onlookers would prevent them from giving into any desires they were feeling, right? While she considered what else would be required to continue this platonic relationship, she noticed Brenda staring at her. Apparently she hadn't yet responded to the blonde's request.

"Okay, we can try just being friends."


	2. Chapter 2

_Brought to you by 'Fall Into Me' by Emerson Drive_

_**A/N:** This was initially a two-part chapter, but part two turned into quite a beast. So I decided to split them into two separate chapters. Let me know how things are going if you feel inclined. This is my first forray into writing, so I want to make sure that this experience is enjoyed by all. Any feedback would be amazing, I'm all for getting better as a storyteller. Thanks so much for all the support thus far!_

Brenda Leigh Johnson had never been known for her impulse control. She was sitting at Sharon's kitchen table, half listening to the older woman rattle off all the rules involved in their tentative friendship, while attempting not to kiss her. They had just shared the hottest make out session the Chief had experienced in months, well years actually, and now she was being told they weren't allowed to do that anymore. It was disappointing news to say the least. On the bright side, the brunette did agree to a friendship. Brenda would just have to figure out some way to win her over when it came to the kissing. Hadn't Sanchez told her something about friends with benefits, or whatever they were called? In all honesty though, the blonde wanted more than just the steamy hook up's, that was just an added bonus. Dinner on Tuesday had only added fuel to the flame when it came to her desire for _that woman_. Sharon seemed to understand her better than anyone she'd met, and always knew exactly what to say to keep Brenda from doubting herself. Self doubt was something the blonde was all too familiar with these days, although she had always felt a little unsure of her decisions, especially when it came to her personal life. It didn't help that her parents, along with every man she had ever been with, continually questioned why she would rather arrest murderers instead of settling down in the 'burbs with a few kids. She couldn't remember anyone ever recognizing her personal uncertainty before Sharon, they were too busy judging her decisions. And now all she wanted was to hold that older woman's hand, cuddle on the couch after a long day, spend weekends together. These feelings were completely foreign, considering she had never actively pursued anyone. Every man she had been with in the past had to practically beg her to commit. Brenda knew there was hope, since the older woman had initiated this last kiss. So what was stopping her from just jumping in? Good thing confessions just happened to be her specialty, she would get the woman singing like a canary in no time.

Sharon was incredibly proud of herself. While she may have slipped initially, she was more than prepared to right the situation. Extracting herself from Brenda's embrace had been disappointing, but her sanity depended on not allowing the younger woman to get in her head. They could be friends, she just needed to be smart. And they needed a plan.

"Well Sharon, now that we've gone over all your rules…do you think we could maybe go get food or somethin'? I'm starvin' and also conveniently free." Brenda looked up at the brunette and smiled, hoping she would accept the offer. As much as this current arrangement frustrated the Chief, she certainly didn't want to spend another night alone.

"Sure, I guess I really don't have plans this evening. Let me just grab a jacket."

They took separate cars to the Chinese restaurant a few miles away. Sharon didn't want to go tempting fate, and she wasn't sure either of them could control themselves in a shared car situation quite yet. After parking they headed inside, the brunette making sure they had a booth that faced the center of the restaurant. Soon their server appeared and both opted for an iced tea, drinking without third-party present was yet another one of the new stipulations.

"So Sharon, what have you really been doin' these last three days?" quipped the blonde as she looked up from the menu.

"I'd been meaning to paint my guest bedroom for awhile, so I picked a color Wednesday and painted most of Thursday. I got caught up on some shows I had recorded and finally talked to my daughters for more than five minutes. It's actually been really nice to not think about the office, I haven't had a real break in almost a year." Sharon smiled at the blonde, she really had enjoyed the time off to catch up on life outside Internal Affairs.

"I can't believe FID can function without their rule lovin' leader." Brenda really couldn't believe the brunette had managed to stay away from the office for more than a day, considering she was such a stickler for that 72-hour investigation window.

"Conveniently, only one case came up and Elliot was able to take care of it without my assistance. I won't be coming back Monday to much paperwork." Sharon continued to scan the menu.

"Sounds like you were real sick, hope you're feelin' better soon."

Sharon couldn't help looking up, rolling her eyes at the smart remark. This younger woman was hell-bent on driving her crazy. At the same time, she was grateful that someone cared enough to ask what was really going on. Being alone for so many years, she had forgotten how nice it was to share things with another person, even the mundane, unimportant parts of her every day.

Their server returned, Brenda ordering her usual happy family and the brunette settling on chicken and broccoli.

"Since today is the first time you've really talked about'em, I'd love to hear about your daughters. Do you just have girls, or boys too?" The blonde had been surprised when Sharon mentioned her children. Willie Rae had informed her daughter that the brunette had kids, they had apparently swapped stories over making Christmas dinner a couple of years ago, but it wasn't like the woman was very forthcoming about them...or anything else really.

"Just two girls, Anne and Victoria. Annie is 32, she's a psychologist specializing in addiction up in San Francisco. She and her husband are expecting their first child in a few months. I'm not sure if I'm ready to join the 'grandma' club yet, but I'm happy for them."

"Grandma Sharon, sure has a nice ring to it," smirked the blonde. She couldn't see the brunette being anything less than an amazing mother and grandmother.

"Ugh, that word just sounds old. Tori's my free-spirited artist, she turns 29 soon. She's back east, in New York actually, working on some projects and attempting to get her installations displayed in a few galleries," continued the brunette. Sometimes she wondered how she got such polar opposite children, they were literally nothing like each other.

"Wait, back east? You're not from California? I always assumed you were, but bein' a Yankee would sure explain a lot," chuckled the blonde.

"I grew up in Santa Cruz, but moved east for college. I wanted to experience seasons and life outside my backyard, so Boston seemed like the perfect place. Not to mention BU had a great law program," stated Sharon.

"Uh, law? You're not also a lawyer are you?" Brenda had nearly spit out her iced tea at the thought.

"No, not a lawyer. I knew I wanted to study law in some capacity, but it wasn't until later in college that I decided I was more interested in police work. Pushing papers never appealed to me, I wanted to be out in the field helping people. Although, it seems that I ended up doing exactly that," replied the brunette, giving her companion a half-smile.

"Hmm. Well, I've never been to Boston, but I hear it's somethin'."

"You should definitely make it a point to go, it's a beautiful city with a lot of historical significance." Maybe once they figured out this friendship, Sharon could invite the younger woman when she visited next. She always had enjoyed showing her friends and family the city, especially those amazing off the path places that most visitors weren't never got to experience.

"So when did you move back here? Sorry if I'm pesterin' you with questions, I never did get around to reading your file…" The blonde looked over at her dinner companion, who was obviously a little more than uncomfortable with the idea.

"We both know the Pope would have never let you anyway," Sharon deadpanned, meeting the woman's gaze and slightly cocking an eyebrow.

"You doubt my abilities, Sharon Raydor? I bat an eyelash in his general direction and he's fallin' all over me. Especially now that Fritz's gone. He seems to think he has a chance at winnin' me back. I mean, how else do you think I got your address…" teased the blonde, she was enjoying how much this was getting to the older woman.

"You can't be serious." Sharon sighed at the thought. Of course Will would give Brenda anything she wanted, the blonde certainly had a way with men.

"And look how well it turned out? We're sittin' here havin' a lovely dinner. Now back to your story, you came back to LA…"

"When Tori was around 6. I was offered a promotion out here, so we moved." What Sharon didn't want to say was that her ex, John, had been fired from the District Attorney's office over a year before. They could no longer tolerate his drunken antics at work, so he had jumped at the chance to move out here and try to find a firm that wasn't aware of his awful reputation. Had they not relocated, Sharon was sure they would have gone under financially. Her detective's salary was the only thing keeping them afloat. And with no promotion in sight as a BPD officer, they really didn't have much of a choice if they wanted to continue living above the poverty level.

Brenda detected a hint of sadness as the brunette spoke of moving and remained silent, letting the woman have a moment. It seemed there was more to the story, but the Chief knew not to push, not yet anyway. Instead, she opted for a less invasive topic.

"So now that you're done paintin', what's the rest of your weekend look like?"

By the end of dinner, Brenda had secured another meeting with the older woman on Sunday. Over an enjoyable lunch, they swapped stories about growing up on almost completely opposite sides of the country. Sharon learned that the blonde was captain of her cheerleading team and first runner-up in the homecoming court, which wasn't that much of a surprise. The brunette had shared that while she was valedictorian of her catholic high school class, she was invisible to most of her peers, always afraid of bringing attention to herself. Brenda couldn't really imagine the Captain as anything but the ice queen who oozed confidence and charisma wherever she went. After lunch, they walked around the outdoor shopping center searching for the perfect comforter to match Sharon's newly painted guest bedroom. While the brunette claimed she didn't need help, she was glad they got to spend a little more time together before going home.

Monday morning, Brenda clipped into the office a little past 8. Everyone appeared to be present and ready to roll out to the crime scene. Noticeably absent, however, was the green-eyed Captain. Unsure if Sharon was planning on tagging along or if she had actually caught a force case, she grabbed her phone and typed a quick text. She would stall the guys until she got a reply, not wanting the brunette to catch hell from Will for not riding along to supervise the administrative details they usually forgot about.

_To: Sharon R._

_Hey, we caught a case. Will you be joining us this morning? I know Pope still thinks I need a chaperone and I wouldn't want to get you in hot water. _

She heard her phone ding a minute later, signaling a new text.

_From: Sharon R._

_Can't, been here since last night dealing with a narcotics sergeant who decided to take a few pot shots at a kid during a bust. Pope's already all over my ass, so don't worry. _

Brenda was pretty sure there was never a time when the Captains job didn't suck and this recent investigation sounded like a nightmare. Making a mental note to check up on the brunette later that day, she grabbed her purse and followed the guys out to the elevators.

The crime scene had been a pretty standard gang related shooting. No one had seen anything and no one was interested in talking to the LAPD. On the way back to headquarters, Brenda practically begged Gabriel to stop at a supermarket so she could stock up on her dwindling supply of ding-dongs and Reese's cups. There was no way she was going to get through the rest of the day without a steady supply of sugar, especially considering she had left her lunch at home. While inside, she grabbed a few other random bags of candy for Sharon. She couldn't actually help the brunette with her case, but she could bring her an obscene amount of sweets to ease the pain. Since she didn't know what the older woman liked, she grabbed an assortment of chocolate and gummy confections and hoped that at least one would peak her interest.

Once they got back downtown, the Chief told the guys she would meet them upstairs and continued on the elevator up to Sharon's floor. Briskly walking past a few IA officers, many of whom seemed genuinely confused by her presence on their turf, she knocked softly on Sharon's door. Her office blinds were closed, so she was either out or wasn't in the mood for visitors.

"Come in," sighed the brunette, looking up from the paperwork and smiling slightly when she saw it was the blonde entering. Brenda, not wanting to disturb the older woman more than she already was, sat down in one of the chairs and grabbed the clear grocery bag from her purse.

"Hey, Sharon. I'm not sure if you like candy, but I picked you up some after reviewin' our scene. Chocolate always seems to help a particularly rough case, at least for me. I didn't really know what you liked, so I kinda just got everything." The blonde placed the bag full of brightly covered wrappers on the desk, grinning at the Captain.

It took the brunette a second to register what was happening. While this was probably a normal gesture from a coworker for many, she wasn't used to anyone at the office caring about her day, or really caring about her in general. Her presence was a constant thorn in the side of every one of her colleagues and no one ever dared come up to Internal Affairs unless they were required to. Needless to say, being given anything other than a dirty look during a long investigation was a first for the Captain. And of course, the person responsible for said first was none other than her new 'friend' Brenda. As if the older woman needed yet another reason to let the blonde chip away at her heart.

"I better be goin', I hope I didn't disturb you too much." Brenda started to get up, but stopped when she felt Sharon's hand reach out over the desk to cover her own.

"Thank you, Brenda. It really means a lot that you care." Lightly squeezing, she gave her a genuine smile.

Brenda could feel her stomach flip, and neither woman refused to let go.

"Oh for heaven's sake!" In one quick motion she got up, still holding the Captain's hand, and rounded the corner of the desk, pulling the brunette up to meet her. The blonde closed the space between them and brushed her lips against the older woman's. This kiss was different from the few others they had shared. It was sweeter, more tender. And it was Brenda who broke them apart, knowing full well the brunette would go into Captain Raydor mode at any moment. If she was going to say something, it needed to be now. Resting her head against Sharon's, she decided to speak.

"I care about you Sharon Raydor, and I always will." With that, the blonde planted one last peck on the older woman's cheek and darted out of the room. She didn't want to stick around for the fallout.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N**: Brought to you by 'Green Light' by John Legend ft Andre 3000. It's a great song, and secretly (well, not so secretly now) I entertain the idea that Sharon likes to come home after a long day at work and unwind to a little R&B. Think Mary J. Blidge, John Legend, Boyz II Men, etc. Anyway, thanks for all your support! Any song suggestions, comments, etc are always encouraged and appreciated! Also, look out for a fun Christmas one shot in the next couple days. A Christmas holiday in the life of Grandma Sharon and Brenda. xoxo_

Brenda hadn't heard from Sharon since Monday. Both had been busy with cases and their respective divisions and neither wanted to break the silence. The blonde hoped that by giving her time to process, the Captain would come around and they could once again go back to being 'just friends.' The kiss had been an impulsive decision on the Chief's part. And although she wasn't sorry she did it, she now found herself once again missing the brunette's presence as a result of her rash decision-making.

"Alright, what's everyone doin' tonight?" Brenda shot her team a wide smile, they had just closed a particularly difficult case and it was a Friday evening. She was definitely ready for a glass of wine, or four, after the week she had.

"Mendoza said something about a dueling piano bar somewhere near Hollywood that their squad's heading to after work. We could meet up with them," offered Sánchez. He loved going out with Major Crimes, it was always a great time. And since Fritz had left, bar festivities were now happening at least once a month.

"Sounds excitin', who's free? I know I'm ready for a big ole' glass of Merlot after that case." Hopefully at least some of her team would attend, she was starting to enjoy hanging out with them outside the office. And she really didn't want to go back to her empty apartment.

"Kevin has a school dance I'm chaperoning, so I'm out. I should probably head home, hopefully catch them before he leaves with that new girlfriend. See you guys Monday." Tao gave a slight head nod in the general direction of the Chief and scooped up the last of his things, heading for the door.

"Me and Flynn are in, not like we have anything better to do," muttered Provenza.

"Uhh, I don't remember saying I was 'in' for anything," responded Flynn. Of course he would go, considering he jumped at any chance to socialize with the Chief outside the office. Everyone seemed to notice that little crush of his. Well, everyone but Brenda.

"I keep telling you Flynn, if you're always insisting on riding the wagon, you might as well drive it for the rest of us. And I'm sure this bar has at least a few prospects, nothing like a single lady out on a Friday night." Provenza looked over at the Chief and let out a slight chuckle.

"Oh, lieutenant, not all of us single girls are stupid enough to fall for those tricks of yours. At least the one's with half a brain," quipped the blonde.

Gabriel would also be attending, it wasn't like he had much to do these days either. Buzz was out, per usual, once again promising to drive his mother to some bingo game. Seeing a large majority of her squad agree to the evening, the Chief decided to take a risk and ask Sharon to come along. She took a deep breath and texted the brunette, hoping she was also ready to break this silence.

_To: Sharon R._

_Hey, stranger. The guys and I are going to that piano bar in Hollywood tonight. Interested in joining? Don't worry, I'll be on my best behavior - and we'll have chaperones. _

The Captain was almost finished a quarterly review when her Blackberry vibrated. Unlocking the screen, she was surprised to find that Brenda had texted. It wasn't that she was actively ignoring the blonde, but she couldn't deny she was less than thrilled about her display on Monday. While Sharon was not completely innocent, considering she had initiated physical contact between them, she hadn't expected the Chief to be so thoughtless and bold. What if her blinds had been open? What if someone had walked in? Not to mention they had explicitly discussed the rules of their friendship only two days before. Brenda couldn't have forgotten, she just chose to ignore them. It all seemed so easy for the younger woman, dancing through life without a care in the world or a concept of how her actions affected others. She just went after what she wanted until she lost interest. And Sharon was pretty sure that their relationship was no different. The blonde did love a challenge, and obviously had met her match. However, the Captain couldn't deny that if the situation were different, she would be more than interested in seeing where this could go. But Sharon's job required her to follow the rules. And while the LAPD didn't exactly forbid this sort of relationship, considering they worked in two separate divisions and Sharon didn't report to the Chief in any capacity, it could be looked upon unfavorably. And in the Captain's field, reputation meant everything. The older woman was fully prepared to respond with a 'no, thank you' when her phone vibrated again.

_From: Chief BLJ_

_Look, I'm sorry about Monday. It won't happen again. Give me a chance to prove we can be friends. You're the only friend I've got these days. _

Sharon found herself standing outside the bar an hour later. Obviously her car had a mind of its own, because she couldn't remember driving herself here. Honestly, she did miss the blonde and it was nice to have someone finally on her side, especially at work. One drink wouldn't hurt, right?

Brenda almost jumped for joy when she saw the Captain enter from across the room. Normally she would have waved the brunette over, but the pianos were set up in the center of the room, facing where they were sitting, a stage attached in front. From where Sharon came in, she would have to make a full loop to find them and it was pretty packed, even at 8. The Chief excused herself and headed over to grab the older woman before she was swallowed up in the crowd.

"Hey, Sharon. I didn't think you were comin'. I'll show you where we're all sittin'." The blonde smiled broadly and grabbed the brunette's arm, attempting to guide her back to their table. Sharon initially flinched at the contact, but soon realized the Chief was just trying to lead her to the far corner. The guys seemed confused by the Captain's arrival, but acknowledged her presence with a chorus of 'hello's' and 'glad you came.' Sharon took a minute to survey her surroundings, noticing that everyone already seemed to be a drink or two into the evening.

"This round's on me," announced the blonde. "What are you drinkin' Sharon?"

"I'll have a vodka soda, thanks." Just one drink, then the brunette was going home.

Brenda returned with everyone's beverages, finding the older woman in a rather heated conversation with Sánchez.

"…there is no better quarterback in Colt's history than Peyton Manning, Captain. His record speaks for itself," protested Julio.

Sharon didn't claim to know everything, but one thing she knew very well was football. While most native Californian's were well versed in the college realm, the brunette (and her family) had always been a devoted NFL fan. Some of her best memories involved a crowded living room full of relatives, beer, and a Sunday night game. As a result of this lifelong dedication, she was fully prepared to wage war with Julio over a rather careless claim and maybe even earn a little respect in the process. These men were hard to break, but she knew a crash course in quarterback history could help them look at her as more of an equal.

"His record with the Colt's may be the best in franchise history, but Johnny Unitas will always be the best quarterback the Colt's, and the NFL, has ever seen. He was phenomenal before the rule's changed, when the game was built totally around the run. And he was the first to even consider using the comeback passing offense, long before any other teams had attempted mounting a full-scale fourth quarter comeback. Yes, his statistics aren't nearly as impressive as Manning on paper, but what he brought to the game goes well beyond numbers." Sharon couldn't help but notice sometime during her speech the entire division had started to stare, mouths hanging open in shock. Apparently her extensive knowledge had impressed them all, if their faces were any indication.

"Damn Captain. You better be getting her next round, Sánchez. She just owned you in football," exclaimed Gabriel. Who knew the Captain was so normal? And knew so much about football?

"I'll do you one better, 'round of tequila shots on me. You can all thank the Captain." Julio headed over to the bar, leaving Sharon with the rest of the men. She looked around for the blonde, but Brenda must have wandered off to one of the other tables. It appeared that Major Crimes was not the only division in attendance tonight.

After a quick hello to Mendoza, the Chief headed back to their table. She was surprised to find everyone huddled in conversation, the brunette blending in seamlessly. While the guys no longer hated Sharon, they weren't usually this accepting of her presence. Well, unless they needed something from her. Sánchez soon appeared with and handful of shot glasses, distributing them around to the team.

"Oh man, Chief, you should have been here five minutes ago. The Captain just schooled Julio in football," laughed Gabriel.

"Is that so?" Brenda was impressed, the guys seemed to have really taken a liking to the former wicked witch in the last few minutes.

"Yeah, Chief. It wasn't my finest hour, I may have underestimated my opponent," confessed Sánchez.

"Consider it a learnin' experience, we should all stop underestimatin' the Captain these days." The blonde gave Sharon a bright smile.

Soon the band started their set, and the room filled with piano renditions of a variety of popular songs. Brenda finished another glass of wine and headed over to the brunette, who was casually chatting with Flynn. The older man excused himself soon after, noticing a pretty young redhead walk past, leaving the two women alone. Sharon, feeling a little buzzed and quite happy about how the evening was going, took a moment to give the blonde the once over. God, she was gorgeous.

"I'm really glad you ended up comin' out tonight, Sharon. I was really hopin' you would, but…" The blonde was interrupted by a voice over the loudspeaker.

"Is there a Lieutenant Louie Provenza here? Your colleagues have requested this next song especially for you," smirked one of the band members.

Before Sharon could wrap her head around what happened next, Provenza had been dragged on stage by one of the bar's employees and was being given a lap dance by a few younger female patrons to a comical piano interpretation of 'I Like Big Butts.' Every member of Major Crimes looked like they were dangerously close to peeing their pants and it appeared Andy Flynn was actually crying from laughing so hard. Gabriel managed to high-five Sánchez, obviously congratulating each other on a job well done. The brunette could no longer hold in her amusement and soon found herself doubled over, wishing Buzz was here to video this spectacle.

Brenda couldn't catch her breath, Provenza was loving the attention. And it appeared he was very well versed in this song. David and Julio did love to pull these kinds of stunts, but usually their victim was Tao, considering he was the easiest target. This was definitely one for the history books. Once the blonde was able to calm down, she glanced over at the Captain, half expecting her to be irritated over her division's juvenile behavior. But that didn't seem to be the case at all. She couldn't help but notice the brunette was absolutely stunning when she dropped that Captain Raydor façade and joined in with her team.

A few songs and one very happy Provenza later, Sharon saw Gabriel returning from the bar with a white bucket filled with some sort of blue liquid and a rather obscene amount of colored straws sticking out. While the brunette didn't frequent bars as much as she once did, she knew things were about to get very interesting now that a mixture of cheap liquor was introduced to the team.

"The band wanted to show their appreciation for the police," shrugged David to the rest of the group, setting down the bucket of booze on the table they were sharing. No one really needed to ask twice, free drinks were always appreciated in this crowd. And most of them already had a buzz, everything was starting to taste the same anyway.

As the night continued and Brenda downed another glass of wine along with a solid amount of the bucket, she found it incredibly difficult to restrain herself from jumping the older woman. She was no longer thinking clearly. Or maybe, without inhibitions, she might have the courage to tell the brunette how she felt. The only thing she wanted at this moment was Sharon, and she had a feeling that as much as the Captain protested, she wanted this too. She had noticed the way the brunette was looking at her when Andy left them alone. Perhaps this was the perfect time to have a conversation. After all, the older woman would never yell at her in public, especially around her division. And after a drink or two, Sharon may also be more open about what exactly was going on between them. First things first, the Chief really needed to talk to her alone. When the opportunity did not present itself, Brenda decided to speed things up. She leaned in close to the brunette, not wanting the guys to hear.

"Hey Sharon, something's not sittin' right in my stomach. Could you come with me to the bathroom?"

"Sure," responded the Captain. She had noticed the blonde drinking quite a bit, but figured she could hold her liquor.

They had barely made it into the bathroom when the brunette felt herself being pushed into a stall. Brenda wasted no time and their lips connected. There was nothing sweet about this rendezvous…the blonde attacked, begging for access into the older woman's mouth. Sharon moaned, feeling the younger woman nibble on her rather sensitive bottom lip. The Chief managed to pin the brunette against the wall, and her hands began to roam, eventually finding their way under the waist of Sharon's skirt, lightly grazing her now exposed stomach.

Well, this was not exactly what the Captain expected when she agreed to accompany the younger woman to the bathroom. Every time they found themselves alone, something like this happened. And once again, Sharon's brain was telling her this needed to stop, but her heart wouldn't listen. Instead, she pushed back against the blonde, never breaking their kiss, but effectively forcing the younger woman against the opposite wall. If this was going to happen, it was going to be on the Captain's terms. Grabbing the blonde's hands with her own, she placed them above her head. Wrapping her fingers around the Chief's wrists, she allowed her right hand release its grip and wander south.

Brenda was on fire, wetness already pooling in her underwear. She was desperate to touch the older woman, but the alcohol and Sharon's firm grip was making that next to impossible. And now the brunette's hands were dangerously close to her center. Letting out a rather loud sigh, she finally broke their kiss, staring into green eyes.

"Sharon…I want…I need…to touch you," the blonde whispered, hardly able to get the words out between breaths.

"Not here, we can't," Sharon managed to spit out as she started planting rough kisses down the Chief's neck, occasionally biting enough to elicit a whimper, but not enough to leave a mark.

"Come home with me," pleaded Brenda.

"No. We really can't do this." Sharon pulled back, looking straight at the younger woman. This had to stop, she needed to remember her responsibilities, and morals, and common sense.

"Please Sharon, just once. Then we can go back to just bein' friends. Please, I need you," begged the blonde, close to tears. She looked away, not wanting to see the Captain's reaction.

The brunette couldn't deny her desire for the younger woman. And perhaps just one time, she could give in. After all, if this was just a chase for the blonde, sleeping together would end it. She grabbed the blonde's face, forcing her to make eye contact.

"You can come home with me. There's no way I'm letting you drive yourself anywhere." Sharon gave the Chief one last peck and headed out of the bathroom. Now where had she put her purse?

Brenda took a second to straighten out her skirt and smooth her hair. Exiting the stall, she caught herself in the mirror and did some minor touch ups. Hopefully the guys wouldn't notice the flush, or the fact that her lipstick was kissed away. Taking one last breath, she headed for the door and out to her team.

"Thanks for the lovely evenin', gentleman. My ride's about to leave, I'll see y'all bright and early Monday," chirped the blonde as she grabbed her purse. Sharon must have already said her goodbyes while the Chief was adjusting in the bathroom because she was already halfway out the door.

"Chief, if you want to stay, I can drop you off after Sánchez," offered Gabriel.

"David, it's fine. I'm just gonna head home now with Cap'n Raydor. I'm feelin' a little funny, must have been all that blue drink. You guys stay and have a good time," laughed the blonde.

"Alright Chief, have a good night."

Brenda stumbled out of the bar and immediately saw the Captain waiting for her next to the entrance.

"I figured you wouldn't know where I parked," shrugged the brunette as she began to walk to her car.

The blonde took a quick second to look around, not seeing many people in the parking lot. Catching up to Sharon, she grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together. She was feeling a little unsteady, so she could always use the intoxication as an excuse.

"What are you doing?" The Captain attempted to shake away Brenda's hand, but the younger woman only held her tighter.

"No one's around. Just shut up and hold my hand, would'ya?" The blonde smiled at Sharon.

The car ride back was full of stolen glances and light caresses. Brenda rested her hand on the Captain's thigh but didn't move further up, aware that she was driving. Red lights gave the blonde an opportunity to steal a kiss or two, until the person behind them eventually honked. They really were acting like a couple of horny teenagers and it was driving the Chief absolutely crazy with desire.

Sharon was trying to enjoy the moment, but she couldn't seem to completely turn off the voice in her head. This was the Chief, her superior, and someone she looked up to, professionally. Not to mention, the brunette had never had sex with a woman. What was she suppose to do? Had Brenda ever done this before? Oh God, what if this was like her first time with a man? The Captain would prefer to never again relive that awkward experience. However, what seemed to be the most frightening was the possibility that this was more than just one night. The older woman really felt something, something she hadn't experienced with another person in a very long time. If Brenda didn't feel the same, if this really was just a game for her, Sharon was unsure she would be able to recover. Or worse yet, what if tonight did lead to something bigger? There would be no way 'whatever this was' could work out in the end. And the Captain would find herself hurt and alone, again. All roads seemed to lead back to Sharon being hurt, one way or another. Should she just turn the car around now? At least that would spare her some pain.

"Stop," exclaimed the blonde, breaking the silence. Sharon threw on her breaks, out of habit.

"What the fuck, Brenda?" hissed the brunette, narrowly missing being rear-ending by the car behind her.

"I didn't mean the car, Sharon. I meant stop thinkin' so much. Just trust me, okay?" The Chief worried her bottom lip and grabbed for the older woman's hand, interlacing their fingers. She didn't want Sharon to talk herself out of this, not after they had come so far.

"Sometimes you just, ugh. You drive me crazy," complained the brunette.

"And you wouldn't have it any other way," intoned the Chief. She looked over, smirking at the Captain.

Sharon pulled into her driveway and got out, slowly collecting her things from the backseat. This was really going to happen, whether she was ready or not. It was too late to turn back now, Brenda had already made her intentions very clear. One thing was certain, the brunette needed a few drinks. She needed to get on her companion's intoxication level, otherwise things could get a little awkward. And maybe some booze would turn off her brain, even if just for the night.

The blonde almost face planted getting out of the car, apparently she had a few more drinks than she remembered. Not to mention, standing up so quickly had left her spinning a bit. Noticing the brunette stalling, bent over to retrieve something non-existent on the floor of her car, Brenda took the opportunity to wrap her arms around the older woman's waist and pull her into the standing position.

"Let's go inside. Do you need help with anything?" whispered the blonde as she planted a few soft kisses on the back of Sharon's exposed neck.

Sharon shook her head, slung her bag over a shoulder, and headed for the door. Once again, she felt a hand on her own free one and a slight squeeze from the blonde. Apparently the Chief was a big fan of hand-holding, which the brunette found incredibly adorable and simultaneously annoying. Unlocking her door, the Captain placed her purse, jacket, and shoes in the usual spot, pointing to the younger woman to do the same, and then headed straight for the kitchen. Shooting up a silent thank you to God for remembering to visit the liquor store earlier that week, she pulled out one very large bottle of Belvedere and poured a rather generous amount into a tumbler. She would skip the soda tonight, all she wanted was a quick buzz to calm her nerves.

Brenda took a second to poke around the living room, checking out some framed photos and artwork that decorated the space. While she had been to the Captain's house before, she definitely hadn't had the chance to do any proper snooping. After a minute or two, she realized the brunette was not coming out of the kitchen. What could she possibly be doing in there? Taking a deep breath, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst, she headed in. The world was spinning a little for the Chief, but she still knew exactly what she wanted.

Sighing into her second glass of vodka, Sharon saw the blonde approaching. Unsure of what to do next, they shared a quiet moment awkwardly staring at each other. No one wanted to make the first move, a total 180 from the bar bathroom and their shared kitchen make out scene the week before. Not wanting to spend the rest of the night just looking at each other, the brunette let out a shaky breath, put her glass on the counter, and stepped toward the Chief. Hand trembling, she placed her palm on the blonde's cheek, running her thumb across her bottom lip. The younger woman gave her a slight smirk and lunged.

Brenda had the Captain pinned, once again, against the counter in 2.5 seconds. The kiss was sloppy, needy, and the younger woman slowly melted into the feeling. If the moan coming from the brunette was any indication, she was definitely enjoying this as well. Sharon could feel the alcohol hitting her system and was suddenly very hot. Needing some sort of air circulation, she began guiding the blonde over to the couch, lips breaking only long enough for Sharon to pull the younger woman's shirt over her head. When Brenda felt her legs hit the sofa, she fell back, allowing the Captain to sit on her lap, straddling her. She also took the opportunity to unbutton Sharon's shirt, placing wet kisses down her neck as she went.

This felt too right, Sharon couldn't care about the consequences anymore. At this moment, being tonight was the only thing that made perfect sense.

"Lets take this upstairs," husked the brunette.


	4. Chapter 4

_"And I don't think I have ever seen a soul so in despair. So if you want to talk the night through, guess who will be there? So don't try to deny it pretty baby, you've been down so long you can hardly see. When the engine's stalled and it won't stop raining, it's the right time to roll to me." _**_'Roll to Me', Del Amitri_**

Brenda slowly opened her eyes, sun streaming into the window of a very unfamiliar room. Looking down, she also noted her clothes were missing. This was an interesting way to wake up. Rubbing her now throbbing head, she took a moment to replay the previous night's events. She remembered arriving at that ridiculous piano bar with the guys, then surprisingly, Sharon showed up. There had been wine and Julio insisted on tequila shots due to something the Captain had said. Oh, and there was some sort of blue bucket? Had Provenza actually gotten on stage with those girls? After that, things were a bit hazy until she went to the bathroom and – oh, mystery location solved. She sighed, not attempting to suppress the wide smile spreading across her face. Flipping toward the wall, she searched for the brunette, but only found an empty bed.

Oh fuck, this was not good. Sharon had no idea how this had happened. She'd been doing so well, firmly resisting the Chief's advances, even when she could have just given in. Why had the Captain even agreed to go out with Major Crimes? Obviously because she wanted this to happen, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. The Wicked Witch of FID had a crush. And it just wouldn't seem to go away, no matter how much she tried to talk herself out of it. She shouldn't have followed the blonde into the bathroom, where Brenda had begged the older woman to go home with her. Sharon hadn't gone to someone else's place in years, not when she had a perfectly comfortable foam mattress. Not to mention, at some point she remembered the Chief talking about a cat and she was not interested in getting hair all over her things. It seemed like the most logical plan at the time was just go back to the Captain's instead. But now Brenda was here, in her house, the morning after. And they would have to face each other sometime, if that blonde would ever wake up. The coffee maker brought Sharon out of her thoughts and she grabbed for a mug. Adding the appropriate cream and touch of sugar, she settled into a bar stool around her kitchen island and waited.

Rooting around bathroom cabinets and under the sink, the blonde found an extra, unopened toothbrush. After cleaning her face and teeth, she snatched a robe from behind the door and went to find Sharon. It may have been a little presumptuous to go through the en suite, but hopefully the older woman wouldn't mind. She also made a mental note to find her clothes, eventually, as they didn't appear to be in the bedroom. Hesitating before the last few steps, she started to come down from her post coital bliss. Sharon hadn't responded positively to any of her earlier advances once the initial shock wore off. Why last night? Perhaps the large amount of vodka and Brenda's near begging had something to do with it. And now, the blonde was in her house, unsure of how this first interaction would go. First order of business, she needed a game plan to deal with the lecture that was bound to ensue. But even more importantly, she needed at least one cup of coffee and a handful of aspirin.

Sharon heard footsteps – she needed to pull it together. The last thing she wanted was the Chief seeing her, mid freak-out. Counting back from 10, she prepared for these next awkward moments.

"Hey Cap-, I mean, Sharon," chirped the blonde as she strolled into the kitchen, looking to meet green eyes. She really wanted to go over and plant a kiss on those beautiful lips, but hesitated, unsure of how the other woman would respond.

"Chief, good morning," deadpanned the brunette, staring down at her beverage.

Well, of course Sharon would return to the comfort of her Captain Radydor façade. That front wouldn't do, especially if they were going to have any kind of honest conversation about the night before. Glancing around the room, the blonde found the coffee machine and grabbed the extra mug on the counter. She poured a generous amount of the brown liquid and added a few spoonfuls of sugar. Sighing into the cup, she welcomed a little caffeine in her bloodstream. After a few more large sips, she turned to face the other woman sitting across the counter and decided to lighten the mood.

"I still can't believe Provenza last night. Who knew the man enjoyed that big butts song so much? I was laughin' so hard I nearly peed." Brenda let out a chuckle at the thought.

"Well, it is a rather catchy song, Chief," the older woman politely responded, finally looking up.

"Alright, Sharon. I think we can cool it with the 'Chief' nonsense. You've been callin' me Brenda outside of work for a while, in case you forgot. As much as I'm sure I'll enjoy watchin' you talk your way out of what happened last night, I think we should just maybe try bein' honest about whatever this is, since it's obviously not goin' away," she huffed, nervously chewing at her lip.

"And what exactly is this? What are we doing?"

Oh Lord, the Captain wasn't wasting any time and Brenda could see the irritation spreading across her face. Just then, the blonde's stomach growled and it gave her an idea. She needed to get them out of the house, as soon as possible. The CIA had taught her the best way to break someone was to lure them out of their comfort zone. And being in Sharon's house, the older woman had a serious advantage. Obviously the brunette felt something, otherwise she would have never invited her back last night. And now, all Brenda needed was an honest answer from the Captain about what she was feeling. That bitchy front needed to go.

"I'm starvin', can I buy you breakfast?"

"_Brenda_, you're avoiding the question." Sharon made a point to pronounce the other woman's name with a little extra emphasis.

"Well, I'm sure I could answer all that just as easily over food," smirked the blonde.

Sharon was hungry, she hadn't gotten a chance to get to the store recently. Perhaps breakfast wasn't such a bad idea? Being in public would hopefully deter the Chief from doing anything too bold. And this way, the older woman could drop Brenda off at her car and make it home in time for that _Real Housewives_ marathon she saw advertised on Bravo.

"Breakfast doesn't sound terrible, I guess. I'll change and we can go." The older woman stood up and headed for the stairs.

"Uhh, Sharon? I don't really have anythin' to wear and I was hopin' I could…"

"Sure, let me just grab you some things and I'll be right down," called the brunette, already halfway to her room.

Brenda was ecstatic, things were starting to look up. She finished her coffee, depositing the cup in the sink, and went to the living room in search of her purse. As far as she remembered, she'd brought it into the house, but hadn't noticed it in the Captain's room. Locating it by the front door, she rummaged through and found her phone. She crossed her fingers that no one had been murdered in the last 14 hours. Thankfully, she found no new calls or messages. Perfect. While on her little hunt, she also managed to find her clothes in a pool around the couch. Stuffing the garments in her oversized black bag, she sat and waited for the brunette to return.

Sharon threw on an old pair of jeans and a worn green polo. The faster she got dressed, the sooner this could all be over. Slipping into a pair of beloved Sperry's, she proceeded to grab yoga pants and a fitted tank for the blonde. She figured they were about the only thing she owned that would fit the Chief's small frame. After switching off the light, she exited for the stairs.

The car ride was uneventful, neither wanting to break the silence. Brenda fiddled with the radio, trying to find something to take her mind off this awkward situation. She heard Sharon let out a small chuckle as she settled on a country station. Were they really singing about sugar daddies and hell on heels these days? Her Mama and Daddy would be appalled.

"What's so funny?"

"You're just incredibly predictable." The brunette allowed herself a slight smirk as she looked over to meet brown eyes.

"Well Sharon, I am from the south. Not likin' country music is basically a sin. What kind of music do you pseudo Yankees enjoy?"

"Actually I don't mind country, both of my daughters were quite fond of it growing up. Something they picked up from their father, I guess." Sharon's mind drifted to dancing with her girls, hairbrushes in hand, listening to that horrible 'Achy Breaky Heart' far too many times. They had played it so much the record finally gave out.

"How incredibly unpredictable of you," declared the blonde as she slide down further into the seat.

They arrived at a diner, a few miles away from the brunette's house, which was rather empty for a Saturday morning. Wanting a little privacy for the conversation that would most likely occur, they selected a corner booth in the back. Browsing the menu, Brenda settled on chocolate chip pancakes with extra whipped cream and Sharon opted for oatmeal and a fruit salad.

"So…now that we're here, I would appreciate if you would answer my question. What happened last night was a mistake, and we can't keep…" The blonde couldn't listen to another speech from the Captain about professionalism, their reputations, etc.

"Sharon, stop. I can't handle hearin' another one of your lectures about how this is a mistake and how we can't go breakin' rules. Can you just stop analyzin' this for two seconds?"

"I can't just turn it off. Whatever keeps happening between us could seriously jeopardize our professional reputations, not to mention get us fired." What Sharon didn't want to say was this was also jeopardizing her sanity. She had serious feelings for the chief, and hadn't felt anything like this in a long time. But she had no idea how Brenda felt. And she would most certainly not be some mid-life lesbian fling for the younger woman. Oh god, was she a lesbian? She had always noticed a beautiful woman, but this was the first time she could ever remember wanting to kiss another female senseless. Maybe it was just a one-time thing? No need to go buying a rainbow flag just yet.

This conversation was not going as Brenda planned and her frustration was building as the seconds passed. She couldn't figure out how to make Sharon understand that this could be something. The sex last night had been amazing, no denying that, but it was all the other things that the older woman did that drove her crazy with desire. The Captain was loyal to a fault, seemed to be an incredible mother, and generally liked being around her, as long as they were keeping it 'G' rated. She challenged the blonde in ways that no one else had and didn't always let her get her way, which was sometimes annoying, but always thrilling. There was never a dull moment between them. Brenda was tired of dancing around her feelings and decided to just be honest. She let out a loud sigh, hoping the brunette wouldn't respond poorly, but preparing for the fallout, just in case.

"Look, I never expected somethin' like this to happen…but it did. And now you're all I think about. I hear clickin' of heels down the hall, and hope it's you that turns the corner. I find myself wantin' to kiss you during almost every case we work together, even when you're mad at me. Well, especially when you're mad at me, mostly just to shut you up. You keep sayin' we can't do this, but I'm wonderin' if you really mean it? You could have said no last night, you could have dropped me off. But you brought me home, with you." Brenda looked up, expecting Sharon to turn away, but found green staring back.

The Captain felt her heart do that little flip, she was shocked by the blonde's candid declaration. Maybe Brenda was right, they obviously both felt the chemistry, it wasn't just in her head. And as much as she wanted to ignore it, follow the rules, and move on, something was pulling her back. That something was currently sitting in front of her, looking quite nervous. Well, if the younger woman was going to lay it all on the line, she deserved the same in return.

"I just, it's just, it's been a really long time since I've felt like this about anyone."

"Shar, I'm scared too, but I wanna give us a shot. I can't keep pretendin' that I don't want this, I want to try." Brenda covered the brunette's hand with her own, lacing their fingers together.

"But what if it doesn't work out, then what? How are we supposed to work together?" Sharon glanced over, blushing at the simple gesture. As much as her head was saying it was wrong, this just felt so right.

"We'll just go back to hatin' each other's guts like we did for the last few years," intoned the blonde.

"Brenda, I never hated you. I just found you annoying and utterly unprofessional."

"Since we're bein' honest and all, I thought you were pretty hot. _Especially_ when you were mad. That could've been part of the reason I was always pushin' your buttons," the Chief smirked and gave her companion an exaggerated wink.

"You thought I was hot?" How could anyone possibly think she, Sharon Raydor, was hot? After all, she was almost 60. She knew she looked pretty good for her age, but hot was something she hadn't heard in a long time.

"Absolutely…So, lets cut to the chase. Do you think maybe you would consider givin' us a try? We don't have to make a big deal about it and we definitely don't need to say anything at work, unless you want to. I just want a chance to take you out on a proper date. If you have a horrible time, we can just go back to bein' friends, or enemies." Brenda had been planning this hypothetical date in her head for weeks, hoping that one day it would be more than just a pipe dream.

"I'm going to assume you won't stop pestering me until I agree. So fine, I will go on one date with you." Sharon exclaimed, trying to hide the excitement.

"Great, what are you doin' the rest of the day?" It took every ounce of self-restraint the blonde had to not jump up and down for joy, things were finally turning around.

30 minutes later, Sharon pulled into the bar parking lot. Brenda turned to the older woman and for a moment they just stared, smiling like a couple of high schoolers, excited for what the afternoon would bring. The brunette finally closed the space as lips brushed. Brenda didn't want to ever stop kissing the woman, but she still had so much to do. Slowly, she pulled away, broad smile across her face.

"As much as I would love to keep kissin' you for the rest of the day, I need to get home and change for our date."

"Hmmm, can't wait," Sharon practically purred.

Brenda planted another quick kiss on the brunette's lips and got out of the car. Before closing the door, she turned,

"I'll be over in an hour, remember a bathing suit."

Bathing suit? Seriously? It was March and Sharon had gotten a bit lax when it came to her usual diet and exercise routine. She wouldn't be bikini ready for at least another month. Pulling into the driveway, she practically tripped up the porch and bolted for the shower. Once clean, she tried on a few different suit combinations before settling on a jeweled center, burgundy bandeau top and black bottoms. It was reveling, but did offer some coverage. Hopefully the blonde would like it. She finished the ensemble off with a black tunic cover up and her favorite pair of rainbows. Grabbing her purse, beach bag, and towel, she checked the clock and found that Brenda would be here in a few minutes. She decided to wait downstairs and turned on a rather ridiculous episode of _Real Housewives of Atlanta_. Hopefully mindless trash would help calm her nerves.

Brenda was fully prepared to badge her way out of a ticket as she sped home, making it there in 10 minutes flat. She jumped in the shower and wasted no time performing her usual rituals. Clean and fuzz free, she shimmied into her favorite peacock-blue triangle top and matching side tie bikini bottoms. She gave herself the once over in the mirror. The suit was pretty revealing, but that's what she was going for. Satisfied, she tied her hair up in a messy bun and threw on a pair of tight jean shorts and gray tank top, slipping her feet into some old sandals. She found a beach towel and bag in the back of her closet and headed to the living room to retrieve her purse, keys, and beverages. The Chief was out the door in under 30 minutes, another new record.

Sharon heard the car pull up and tried to take a few cleansing breaths, not remembering the last time she had been this nervous. If she had any hope of enjoying this, she needed to calm the fuck down. Knowing how impulsive the younger woman was, she couldn't be sure if this thing would last, so she wanted to savor every moment. The brunette heard a light knock and opened the door to find Brenda on her front step, looking absolutely gorgeous with wet hair and no makeup. The younger woman cocked her head and gave Sharon a wide smile.

"You ready, Shar?" Brenda couldn't help but notice how stunning the brunette was, especially in casual wear. As Sharon started down the porch, the blonde grabbed for her hand, lacing their fingers together, pulling the Captain in for a quick kiss.

"I think so. Will I need anything besides a towel?" Sharon squeezed the other woman's hand as they slowly walked the rest of the distance to the car, fingers still laced.

"Nope, nothin' else I can think of."

Once settled in the Crown Vic, Brenda grabbed her phone and pulled up the GPS app, giving it a chance to search for the best route. She glanced over her left shoulder and made sure the road was clear before pulling on the street and heading for the PCH. A few quick turns later, they were on the highway. Brenda switched on her iPod, then cruise control. Keeping one hand on the wheel, she rested her other hand on Sharon's thigh. The brunette flinched at the contact, then rested her hand on the blonde's. Perhaps the Captain could get used to all these displays of affection.

"So, where are we going?" Sharon was interested to see what Brenda had planned, especially when left to her own devices.

"I was thinkin' since you love swimmin' so much, maybe we could head to the beach and grab a late lunch after."

"Sounds perfect," husked the older woman.

They were quiet for most of the drive, exchanging heated glances and stealing quick kisses when traffic would allow it. Both simply enjoying the other woman's company.

Sharon couldn't help but think about how they had gotten here, to this moment. Who would have thought rule-breaking Brenda would ever steal the Captain's heart? The brunette was never one to casually date, settling down only when it felt safe. And as far as she could remember, she'd never had such strong feelings so quickly. The frightening part was not all of those feelings were positive. Brenda was the most irritating and challenging person the older woman had ever met. They were similar in so many ways, which lead to almost constant battles. How could this possibly work out long-term?

The exit was a few miles away when Brenda looked over and noticed the older woman staring out the window, brows furrowed. She always made that face when she was upset, especially during investigations that didn't go her way. The Chief could only imagine what was going through her head now.

"Shar, I can feel you thinkin' over there. You're not real good at hidin' it, although usually you give me that look right before you start lecturin' me. What's on your mind?"

"Just thinking, that's all." She gave the blonde a slight smile, hoping that would be enough to drop the subject.

"Well, why don't you stop thinkin' and enjoy today. You know, you don't have to go figurin' everything out now."

Brenda exited the highway and parked on a side street. Gathering their belongings, the women walked the short distance to the beach. After setting up their towels, Brenda shucked off her shorts and tank, looking over at the Captain to do the same. Sharon hesitated, but figured they had both seen each other naked the night before. There was really nothing to hide at this point. Cover up's off, they settled down side by side. The blonde started to rummage through her beach bag until she felt cans. Glancing to her left, she smiled at the older woman before producing two beers and red solo cups.

"You aren't serious, Brenda Leigh." Oh wow, had Sharon just called the blonde that? She had only ever heard the other woman's parent's use her full name. But somehow, it just seemed to fit. The Chief was really turning her into a sap.

"What? I couldn't go pullin' out a bottle of wine, it isn't really a great beach drink. And neither is vodka, _Shar_, so don't go askin' me if I brought any of that either."

"If I loose my badge over this, I swear…" warned the brunette.

"You'll what? Come on, live a little. I even brought you this lovely red cup, so nothing's gonna happen. And if it makes you feel better, I can draw a witch on a broomstick and…" Brenda felt a light elbow to the side.

After a few sips, Sharon was itching to get in the water.

"You do know how to swim, right? Do they even have beaches in Atlanta?" The brunette assumed she'd been in water before, but Brenda was always full of surprises.

"Don't you worry, I can handle myself in the ocean. We don't really have beaches, mostly just pools. And if you have a friend with a truck…you can always fill up the bed with the hose. You know, a 'redneck pool'," chirped the younger woman.

Sharon rolled her eyes and stood up, extending her hand to the blonde. After securing her hair, they headed down to the water. Now it was the blonde's turn to hesitate, forcing the older woman to practically drag her past knee-deep.

"Come on, you told me you could swim," groaned the brunette, pulling the other woman past chest level. It wasn't like they were going to swim laps, but the Captain did enjoy actually swimming in the water, not wading in it.

"I can, it's just, it's so cold." Brenda shivered, it couldn't be more than 60 degrees in the deeper water.

"Ugh, come here." Sharon pulled the younger woman into her arms, allowing the blonde to wrap her legs around her waist. Pressing their foreheads together, the brunette took the opportunity to steal a few kisses before resting her head on the Chief's shoulder. Brenda squeezed in tighter, hands lightly roaming across the other woman's back as she planted a light peck on her check.

"So, Shar, how's the date goin' so far?"

"Hmm, so far so good. Although I don't know about her taste in drinks, she definitely lost some points there," intoned the Captain, playfully.

"Well, good thing it's not over yet. I've still got time to make things up to you," flirted the blonde as she leaned in for another kiss. While it started innocently enough, Brenda began lightly biting Sharon's bottom lip. She knew it drove the older woman mad. Soon the kiss became hot, needy, and hands started to wander. The Captain took control and began kissing down the blonde's neck, over her pulse point, eliciting a rather large moan. Their shameless necking continued until both heard a throat clear behind them. Turning, they saw what appeared to be a father and son swimming out to catch some waves. The son was obviously enjoying the show, the father, not so much. Sharon blushed, burying her head into the blonde's shoulder while Brenda shot the pair a challenging smirk.

"Maybe we should head up, I'm starting to prune anyway," whispered the older woman.

"I'm gettin' hungry. How 'bout we grab our clothes and find some lunch?"

"Sounds great."

Sharon would never admit it, but this was turning into one of the best date's she'd been on in a long time. Well, ever actually. It hadn't been flashy or expensive, like most men assumed she would like. Brenda had instead opted for sweet and simple, taking into account what the older woman actually enjoyed. And that was something Sharon could get used to.


	5. Chapter 5

_"Say everything you've always wanted, be not afraid of who you really are. 'Cuz in the end we have each other and that's at least one thing worth living for. And I would give the world to you." '__**This is a New Year', Ian Axel**_

Sharon couldn't help but enjoy the quiet as she sat in the waiting room early Friday morning. Between the pale yellow walls and serene landscape paintings, it was hard not to feel like you were in someone's warm, inviting living room. The brunette had been seeing her psychologist, Dr. Debra Mitchell, for almost 14 years. On a friend's recommendation, she began counseling soon after her divorce. Initially, both she and the girls had seen the doctor, all attempting to recover from the emotional effects of John's issues. Eventually the girls hadn't felt it was necessary to continue, and the older woman began her once every other month check-ins. While she didn't feel they were always essential, it was good to have an unbiased sounding board when problem spots arose. Hearing the office door open, Sharon looked up at the rather unassuming gray-haired woman. At only five feet, the brunette could imagine that many underestimated the doctor. But what she lacked in size, she made up for in blunt honesty. And that was something the Captain found oddly refreshing, since most people were far too afraid of the Ice Queen of FID to actually call her out on her bullshit. Debra, however, did not tolerate excuses or false rationalizations. And considering Sharon had called on Monday, scheduling an additional appointment outside of their usual schedule, she could only imagine what the doctor would have to say about her most recent developments.

"Hey Sharon, good to see you. I'm ready when you are," smiled Debra, motioning for the brunette to follow her back into the office.

Once they were both seated, Sharon opting for her usual spot on the couch, the doctor jumped right in.

"So what brings you in? You can imagine my surprise when you called to ask for an appointment this week, instead of waiting until our usual time."

"Well…some things have come up and I didn't really know who else to talk to," sighed the brunette, suddenly embarrassed. Although, when she thought about it, there was really nothing to be that uncomfortable about. Ever since last Saturday's beach trip, she and Brenda had spent quite a bit of time together. Well, as much time as two head of division LAPD officers could. Sharon hadn't felt this excited about a relationship in over a decade, and that was scaring the shit out of her.

"Sharon, we've known each other for a long time. I think we're past the point that I have to pull information out of you. What's going on?"

"I've started seeing someone," Sharon muttered, without taking a breath. That wasn't nearly as difficult to say out loud as she thought it would be.

"Oh, really? And his name?"

"Oh, well…that funny…well, you see..._her_ name is Brenda." The brunette winced, looking away from the doctor. It wasn't that she was ashamed exactly, after all, she was 58 years old and very capable of making her own choices about whom she dated. The words just sounded so odd, seeing someone, after all this time.

The doctor took a moment to study the brunette in front of her, who had just confessed to a new relationship with a woman. Debra had known the Captain for a long time, long enough to know that she didn't just jump into things without thoughtfully considering how they would affect her long-term. It was surprising that after so many years of very casually dating (bordering on simple one night stands, but the good doctor was never one to judge another woman's choices), Sharon was admitting to actually seeing someone on a regular basis. Therapists weren't really supposed to have favorites, but the doctor had always admired the brunette for her quiet strength, even in the face of great despair. Knowing Sharon was rather shy, especially about her personal life, she decided to approach this subject gently, not wanting to push the brunette too hard.

"So, Brenda you said? Where did you two meet?"

"That's a good question. We've known each other for almost 4 years…" Sharon continued, giving the doctor the broad strokes of their combative relationship over the past few years. As she recounted their tumultuous interactions, the brunette couldn't help but laugh at how far they'd come since that night at St. Catherine's Medical Center.

"Forgive me, this might seem like a rather unnecessary question, but did you two ever really hate each other? Or was the fighting merely to cover up some attraction?"

"Hmm, I can't speak for her, but I've entertained the idea that maybe I felt something, even during that first investigation."

"Was that realization a surprise for you?"

"Yes, well maybe, I don't know. I don't think I've ever had feelings for another woman, not like this. And even if I had, my parents would have never allowed one of their children to be anything less than a perfect Catholic." Sharon laughed darkly at the thought of bringing home Brenda to meet the family. While her father had died years before, the brunette's mother was still a large part of her life. Throughout her childhood, her hovering parents had dictated almost every aspect of her existence, from what she wore to whom she was friends with. As a result, Sharon had struggled with social issues throughout her teen and college years, never feeling like she fit in with those around her, always afraid she would say the wrong thing. Painfully quiet and shy, the Captain had loosened up only after joining the police force, finally feeling like she belonged. Then John had come along, and his bigger then life personality gave her a fresh wave of self-confidence…well, until it all went to hell. And now, she had Brenda. That completely adorable, often amusing, clumsy, gorgeous blonde who made Sharon feel like she was the only woman in the room. Even though it had only been less than a week of dating (officially), the brunette felt like this could be something more than an infatuation. She was still deep in thought when she heard the doctor speaking.

"Sharon?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I must have spaced. Could you repeat that?"Sharon blushed slightly before looking over at the other woman.

"Why don't you tell me what you were just thinking about?"

"Well, I was just thinking that this is the first time I've felt something in a long time. And it scares me…but it's also kind of thrilling. I thought I had missed my opportunity to find anyone. Then Brenda came along and I forgot how nice it was to have another person worry about me, to ask about my day. It's nice. I just hope I don't fuck it up per usual," clipped the brunette, sarcastically.

"Why would you fuck it up?" Obviously nothing was getting by Debra today, she knew Sharon better than most. Sarcasm was one of her favorite ways to speak the truth without actually admitting that was how she really felt.

"I haven't tried being in any sort of relationship in a long time. I enjoy being by myself. I can do whatever I want, when I want, and I don't have to worry about how it makes anyone else feel. And Brenda, well, we're very similar in many ways. We both want things done our way and we don't take no for an answer. It's just hard to imagine this working long-term if neither of us are willing to give an inch."

"Sharon, do you want my two cents?" The brunette responded with a nod, quite interested in her doctor's analysis.

"You've been alone for some time now. And as you said, you've enjoyed it. Maybe you've stayed alone because of John and all that happened? Maybe you've never found the right person? Who knows? What I do know is that I've seen you for over a decade and I haven't seen you smile this much since the girls were living at home. Instead of analyzing everything, why don't you just let go, see what happens? It might not work out and that could be painful. But you have the girls, I'm always here to listen, and I have no doubt you could get through it. Unless you give this chance, no matter who it's with, you'll never know what could have been with Brenda. And I know you're not the kind of woman who wants to look back and wonder."

"It's funny you say that, 'stop analyzing things and just see what happens.' Brenda tells me that all the time"

"Well, it sounds like she might just be a perfect catch. Anyone who forces you out of your head is okay in my book," laughed the doctor.

"I think Brenda forces the truth out of just about everyone she meets," deadpanned the brunette.

"It probably helps that she was trained by, who did you say, the CIA right? She really sounds great, Sharon, I hope things work out for you two. Have you told her how you feel about all these changes in your relationship after the weeks of back and forth?" Debra was still a little unsure of exactly what the problem was, the Captain seemed happy and all signed pointed to this Brenda being a great match. There must be something she was missing.

"I don't know what I feel exactly. We're taking things slow, and I just don't know how much I should tell her, just yet. That's really why I made this appointment…"

An hour later, Sharon was dashing into LAPD headquarters. Against her better judgment, she pushed the button for Major Crimes, hoping to catch the blonde before this afternoon. There were a few things the older woman had realized during her session, and the two needed to talk. Brenda had been called in early that morning (2am to be exact, if her text to the brunette was any indication) and the Captain also wanted to make sure she hadn't killed anyone yet. She knew the Chief wasn't a morning person, especially since she'd probably gotten home only an hour before the call. The two had shared a lovely evening, complete with Chinese take out and some less than innocent petting on the couch. Even though they had drunkenly slept together, the brunette wanted to take things slow and develop a relationship outside the bedroom. As much as she'd wanted to ask the blonde to spend the night, Brenda had agreed it was for the best that she went home a little after midnight. The elevator rang, signaling her arrival, and Sharon headed for the murder room. After surveying the empty area, she noticed the blonde's light was on in her office. Knocking lightly, she slowly opened the door, careful to not disturb the Chief too much.

"Hey, you," smiled the blonde, looking up from the papers in front of her, black rimmed glasses still perched on her nose.

"How's the case going?" Sharon settled into one of the chairs across from the Chief, throwing her things to rest on the other.

"Well, at first it was lookin' like I would be here forever. But I got the wife singin' like a canary as soon I mentioned her pool boy lover had ratted her out. Nothin' like killin' your husband to run off with the hired help. Only in LA, I guess."

"Hmm, I'm pretty sure that happens everywhere honey," intoned the older woman.

"I guess. How was your morning? How did the doctors go?" As soon as the words came out, the blonde almost regretted asking. Sharon had said she had a doctor's appointment, although she hadn't really specified what kind. Maybe she didn't want to talk about it.

"Actually, that's kind of why I came up here. What does the rest of your day look like?" Sharon could see the confusion on Brenda's face. Apparently that wasn't the response she was expecting

"I should be done all this terrible, annoyin' paperwork in an hour or two. If it wasn't the mornin', I would drink a huge glass of Merlot after. Then I was gonna head home, actually get some sleep since I didn't get much last night," smirked the younger woman.

"Well as long as nothing major pops up, would you be interested in lunch before you went home for the afternoon? I'll even take the hour, my treat."

"I'm always interested in lunch when it involves you, Captain," Brenda husked.

"Call me when you finish up." Sharon got up, grabbed for her things, and headed to the door.

"Wait, one second," Brenda rounded the corner, glancing over to make sure the blinds were closed, and grazed her lips against the other woman's. Hopefully the brunette wouldn't be too upset, considering the last time they had kissed at work didn't end so well. Sharon softly moaned at the contact, she obviously wasn't that upset. The blonde pulled away, smiling, before planting a last kiss on those lovely lips.

"You didn't think you were actually gettin' outta here without sayin' goodbye?"

"How silly of me. Goodbye, Brenda Leigh. Call me when you're done," flirted the brunette, before clipping out the door.

Brenda called around 1pm; her paperwork had taken longer than expected. The two agreed to meet at Sharon's car, and soon they were headed away from headquarters, up the 101, toward Canoga Park. Pulling into a pharmacy parking lot, the blonde couldn't help but let out a sigh. Sharon had brought almost 30 minutes outside LA to pick up a prescription? All she wanted to do was go home and go to bed.

"We're here," chirped the Captain, unbuckling her seatbelt and exiting the car.

"Uh, what's here?" The younger woman was more than a little irritated by this pointless field trip. Not to mention, completely exhausted.

"It's a surprise, just come on," smirked the brunette, extending her hand and lacing their fingers together. Brenda really brought out her tender side, she hadn't held hands this much since she was in her 20s.

Entering the pharmacy, Brenda was hit with a wave of familiar smells. Was that ice cream?

"I used to bring the girls here when they were younger," Sharon confessed, before guiding the younger woman to the counter and plopping down on one of the stools.

The blonde followed suit, but couldn't focus. There were too many amazing smells wafting through the air. Not to mention, everything on the menu in front of her was in fact, ice cream.

"I thought we were goin' to lunch?"

"Well, I figured after today, we could just skip the meal and head straight for desert." Sharon smiled, than lightly placed her hand on the younger woman's thigh.

The blonde took the opportunity to steal a quick peck before looking back down at her menu. Sharon really thought of everything, this was one of the sweetest gestures anyone had done for her in a long time. The server arrived a few minutes later, although Brenda had been too busy stealing heated glances to actually decide what she wanted.

"What can I get you ladies?"

"We'll have 1 banana split and 1 ice cream soda," Sharon coolly responded.

Brenda normally hated someone else ordering for her, it made her feel like a child, incapable of making her own decisions. However when it came to the brunette, she couldn't help but feel like Sharon just wanted to make her happy. And after all, she had been to this incredible place more than once. Obviously she knew what ice cream options were best.

Soon their ice cream concoctions arrived, Brenda opting to start with the soda while the brunette worked on the banana split. The younger woman couldn't hide the moan of pleasure at her first bite, eye's fluttering as the sugary taste overtook her senses.

"Oh my gosh Shar, this is amazin'. Is this glass dipped in chocolate?"

"It is, then they top it with more chocolate sauce. I figured that might be something you'd enjoy," laughed the brunette. Brenda looked so adorable, wide smile across her face.

After a few bites of their initial choices (well, Brenda basically finished the float but there was a sizable amount left of the banana split), the two women swapped and settled in.

"So, you never told me how your doctor's appointment went? You said somethin' about wantin' to talk to me about it?" For the last few hours, Brenda had been nervously awaiting whatever the older woman had to say. Honestly, she had worked herself up with all the possibilities. The last time anyone had sat her down to have a conversation involving a doctor's visit, it ended with her Daddy having cancer. He had eventually beat it, but not before completely turning her off to the idea of medical community in general. The Chief wouldn't be able to handle anymore bad news when it came to doctor's, especially coming from the beautiful woman beside her.

"It wasn't a doctor exactly. Well, she has a PhD, so I guess she's a doctor. Anyway, I went to my therapist this morning," confessed the brunette, hoping Brenda wouldn't judge her or see her as weak.

"Therapist?"The blonde sucked in a deep breath, she had never warmed to the idea of shrinks. Too many questions.

"I started seeing Dr. Mitchell after my divorce, with the girls. Once they got older and didn't want to go anymore, I continued. It's nice to see her every once in a while and get an unbiased opinion of things going on in my life. And, well, we started talking about you…"

"Me?" Hopefully good things, the blonde thought.

"Yes Brenda Leigh, is that so hard to believe? Anyway, she helped me realize a few things," offered the older woman.

"Like?" If Sharon didn't spit it out soon, the Chief was going to burst from anticipation.

"Like, I'm really happy. I realize it's only been a week, well almost three, counting all our earlier _encounters_, but it's been nice. You took a huge risk, letting me know how you felt and I'm really glad that you did. So maybe it's time I do the same. I do care about you and I was thinking maybe we could try…"

"Are you askin' me to be your girlfriend?" blurted out the blonde, mouth hanging open in shock. This conversation had taken a swift right turn from where Brenda thought they were headed and she couldn't be happier. It had only been a few weeks, well one week since Sharon actually decided to give them a chance, but the blonde had already entertained the idea of asking to become official. Not exactly in the advertising their relationship way, just simply to make a commitment to each other.

"Oh my God, are we 15? No, I just wanted you to know that I want to try this, you and me, exclusively. If that's what you want too."

"Shar, of course that's what I want," cried the blonde, practically falling off her stool, crashing their lips together for a kiss.

"Hey, let's finish our ice cream before it melts. We have plenty of time for that later tonight. That is, if you want to come over?" Sharon raised an eyebrow, smirking suggestively at the younger woman.

"I want to, but it might be kinda late. I still need to get some sleepin' in before I'll be able to come over." Brenda yawned, she was exhausted, even after the excitement of ice cream and their official relationship.

"Maybe you could spend the night," whispered the brunette, before planting a chocolatey kiss on her (now) girlfriend.

_A/N: Sorry it's been a bit, I got distracted by a few exciting one-shots I wanted to create. But I'm back (and it's on…yeah, I'm talking to you, you know who you are). Thanks for all the love and feedback thus far, any thoughts are encouraged and appreciated! xoxo_


	6. Chapter 6

_"The sky is the limit and I just want to float. Free as a spirit on a journey of hope. Cut the strings and let me go, I'm weightless, I'm weightless. Millions of balloons tethered to the ground, weight of the world tries to hold us down. Cut the strings and let me go, I'm weightless…" __**'Weightless', Natasha Bedingfield.**_

Left, Inhale. Right, Exhale.

Monday morning runs were always something the brunette looked forward to, the silver lining on her normally overwhelming first day of the work week. While most people were still in bed, dreading their first day back, she was able to set a brisk pace on almost empty sidewalks. Sharon had been running for the better part of 30 years. Initially her foray into the sport had been purely about losing the baby weight, getting back into fighting form during her early years in the Boston Police Department. As the months past, she found the exercise more enjoyable. It gave the brunette time to think, clear here head as she listened to the almost serene pattern of her steps. More recently, since the development of the IPod, she now had the ability to take a break and enjoy her favorite playlists. Every once in a while, she would find herself dancing, just slightly, as she dashed through the neighborhood.

This past weekend had been everything the Captain expected and then some. Brenda had arrived promptly around 9pm, in some worn, navy blue, LAPD sweatpants and a grey tank top. Apparently, getting dressed post her afternoon nap wasn't too high on her priorities.

When Sharon had given her the once over, eyebrow raised in typical Captain Raydor disapproval, Brenda had simply responded, "What? Either I came over here sometime this evenin' or you'd be waitin' while I picked out a more impressive outfit." The brunette smiled and gave her (now official) girlfriend a light peck, then motioned for the younger woman to come inside.

They had kept their Friday night low-key and Sharon had even attempted to teach the Chief how to make a frittata. Frying eggs seemed pretty easy, until the blonde accidentally caught a wooden spoon on fire. After that she'd been banished to the dining room to set the table while the Captain finished cooking. Over dinner, conversation was light and the wine flowed. Pleasantly buzzed, they cleared the table, loaded the dishwasher, and settled into the couch for a movie. Against her better judgment, Sharon let the younger woman choose from the vast Netflix library.

"_Miss Congeniality_? Really? You can't be serious," moaned the brunette, resting her head on Brenda's shoulder. The irony hadn't escaped her.

"It's a great movie," deadpanned the younger woman. "If you're gonna let me pick then you can't complain." Brenda hit play, and soon the Captain was treated to a rather ridiculous interpretation of the film. Obviously this wasn't the blonde's first time watching, she knew almost every line by heart.

At some point toward the end, Sharon had drifted off, the long day finally catching up with her. While Brenda's show had been highly entertaining, the brunette was exhausted. She felt a light shake on her shoulder and opened her eyes.

"Hey, you seem pretty tired. You wanna call it a night?" breathed the blonde.

"Didn't you just wake up?"

"Well, I didn't actually do much sleepin' when I got home. I had to feed Joel, then I finally did some laundry, and I turned on the TV and Commander Taylor was starin' back at me…"

"Oh God, that's unfortunate. What horrifying outfit did he choose today?" Sharon shook her head, Taylor was a complete nightmare and a horrible dresser. It was bad enough seeing those outfits in person, she couldn't imagine looking at them in her spare time.

"Yellow shirt, powder blue and white stripped tie. I swear, that man gets dressed in the dark, by clowns...nothin' ever matches. So about goin' to bed..."

"Sounds like a perfect idea." Sharon grabbed the blonde's hand, interlacing their fingers, leading her upstairs. Teeth brushed, faces washed, they fell into bed, completely exhausted. Brenda pulled the other woman close, their foreheads practically touching.

"Thanks for havin' me over," murmured the blonde, lightly kissing the Captain's nose, cheek, then lips.

"Thanks for coming. Now let's go to bed, we've got a lot to do tomorrow." Sharon gave the smaller woman a last, lingering kiss, then flipped over and scooted back into Brenda's body. The blonde pulled her in, draping an arm around the Captain's waist and nuzzling her head into that luxurious brown hair.

Rounding the corner up to a rather busy intersection, Sharon continued to jog in place until she was able to cross. She turned the music up, just a touch, when she heard the familiar mezzo-soprano voice that always seemed to motivate her to push out another mile. _"All the single ladies, all the single ladies, now put your hands up…"_ Her girls teased her relentlessly for still keeping up with popular music. But, there was no denying a good Beyoncé song helped her push through the dreaded 3-mile wall.

Saturday had definitely been an adventure. Brenda, not wanting to completely disrupt the brunette's usual weekend routine, had volunteered to accompany her girlfriend to Bikram yoga. It wasn't until they got to the studio did the younger woman admit that she had no idea what she'd gotten herself into. The Chief had made it through 6 postures before escaping out the back, needing a lengthy break from the 103-degree room. Sharon had continued through, until about pose 14, when she realized Brenda wasn't returning. Quietly exiting, she found the blonde, slurpee in hand, in the parking lot. The younger woman's ability to find sugar, in any location, never ceased to amaze the Captain. Smiling, the brunette planted a sloppy kiss on Brenda's rather blue lips, tasting a faint hint of blue raspberry.

"Sorry, Shar. It was just so hot in that room and I wasn't gettin' anything right. I think I'll leave all the exercisin' to you. Not that I didn't enjoy lookin' at your backside durin' that, what did they call it, awkward pose?"

"Well, Chief, your ass doesn't look so bad in those yoga pants either," husked the brunette, playfully swatting Brenda's behind. "Come on, let's go get a real lunch. I'm sure that disgusting iced drink is just wonderful…"

Their afternoon had been much less dramatic. After lunch, they'd stopped at the grocery store, per Brenda's request, to pick up some essentials. The blonde had already secured an invitation to stay another night and she'd agreed, as long as they stopped for Reece's cups and Ho-ho's. While Sharon had a very well stocked refrigerator and enough liquor for a small army, she apparently did not keep nearly enough candy around. While Brenda browsed the chocolate bars, the Captain went looking for tomato paste. A random assortment of items later, the brunette found her girlfriend still in the same aisle, although further down in the gummy section. Sneaking up behind the blonde, who was obviously deep in thought over her possible selections, Sharon snaked her free arm around the younger woman's waist and planted a light kiss on her cheek.

"Almost done? Or should I just leave you here," smirked the brunette, playfully tapping her hip against Brenda's.

"They don't have peach rings," Brenda pouted, "so I don't know to get instead."

"Hm, I've never really had this problem. How about sour patch kids?"

"They're not the same!" The blonde practically stamped her foot in protest. Obviously the Captain didn't know much about candy…no other gummy compared.

"Just pick something, honey, and let's go. If you have any hope of eating lasagna tonight, I need to start cooking." Sharon stifled a laugh as the Chief grabbed almost every bag of sour gummy options, throwing all her finds in their basket.

How Brenda ate as much as she did and still weighed almost nothing was beyond the Captain. Single handedly, she'd managed 3 helping of lasagna, 2 pieces of garlic bread, a salad, and an entire bag of berry sour patch kids. It was nice to finally cook for someone, especially someone who was so enthusiastic about food. After dinner they headed for the backyard, knitted blankets in hand, to enjoy a glass (or three) of wine. Sharon had bought a hammock almost a decade ago, but never used it much once the girls had gotten older and moved out. Brenda loved it and it had seen quite a bit of use over the past week. Soon it became clear that drinking wine while lying wasn't going to work out, and the women opted to share the bottle, literally. Curling into the blonde's shoulder, Sharon sighed.

"I'm glad you stayed, again. This is nice."

"Of course. Did you really think I'd go home? I may have brought a few extra outfits, just hopin' I'd get to stay tonight, too," smiled the blonde, placing a quick kiss on Sharon's head.

"You seem quite sure of yourself," teased the older woman.

"You like it."

Neither woman had gotten out of bed before 11 on Sunday morning. Truthfully, Sharon got the impression the younger woman would have been fine with spending the entire day in her pajamas. But the Bruins were playing the Flyers and the Captain was not about to miss the game. When the brunette had suggested they head to a local sports bar, the Chief hadn't believed she was serious at first.

"Wait, you like hockey too? I was hopin' I'd just have to suffer through football. Now you're tellin' me I'm gonna have to watch hockey? Is there ever a break?"

"Well, baseball's pretty boring…"

"How I ended up fallin' for you, I'll never understand," deadpanned the blonde, shaking her head.

Surprisingly, Brenda had shown some interest in the game and even asked a few questions. Over wings and a pitcher of beer (Sharon had ignored the blonde's protest), they made plans for the following weekend. Since the younger woman hadn't picked many of their activities during the past two days, they would be heading to the zoo. Depending on schedules, and how long the blonde needed to check out the animals, Sharon also was planning a surprise overnight Saturday evening to a local vineyard.

"So why hockey?" questioned the blonde.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I've only been livin' in California for a few years, but hockey doesn't seem like a big deal to anyone. Have you always liked it?"

"Didn't really know much about it until I moved to Boston. It was always football in the fall and hockey in the winter…it was hard not to get caught up in the excitement," smiled the brunette.

"Well, I guess I could get used to it. It's hard not to enjoy grown men fightin' each other like a buncha kids."

Sharon broke the silence after a particularly great hat trick by Patrice Bergeron. "So Chief, do you have any plans this evening," flirted the older woman as she snaked her hand across the table and interlaced their fingers.

"Hmm, I was plannin' on finishin' my laundry. But I could be persuaded to do somethin' else, perhaps,"

"Me, you, bed? Persuasive enough for you?"

"Why Captain, are you askin' me to come home with you, again? I'm pretty sure there's somethin' in that little rule book of your…"

"Oh, shut up. You know you want to." Sharon stuck her tongue out at the younger woman. It was so nice to finally have someone to go home with, it was hard to believe she had made it through 58 years without the blonde sitting next to her.

When Sharon returned home, 5 glorious miles later, she found her driveway sorely missing one Crown Vic. Brenda must have gone home before heading to the office. Once inside, her suspicions were confirmed. Stuck to the refrigerator, the brunette found a pink post-it with the Chief's loopy script. _Ran out of clean underwear, not that it would matter to you…but I figured the boys would appreciate it. Lunch? Dinner? Call me when you get in, baby._ The older woman chuckled to herself, it was hard not to fall in love with the blonde's persistent nature. And it appeared that Brenda had fallen for the Captain as well. It was nice to finally feel excited about a relationship, it had been far too long.

Sharon was practically floating as she walked into FID; she'd just left Brenda with a quick kiss in the garage. Acknowledging her division members with a nod and 'good morning', she whisked into her office and settled down for an uneventful day full of paperwork.

Brenda heard the alarm from inside the video room and then a voice over the PA.

_"We have a 10-34 on the ninth floor, all non-essential officer assistance needed from floors six through eleven. Please remain calm."_

Oh fuck, the ninth floor was Sharon's. While the Chief was considered an essential officer (who was supposed to stay behind while her subordinates assisted with whatever was taking place), she wasn't about to sit calmly and wait for more information. Running for her office, she grabbed her gun and cuffs and headed toward the stairwell with the other guys.

"Alright everyone, heads up and be careful," announced the blonde, leading the pack slowly up the two floors.

"Chief, you should stay behind. We've got this," argued Detective Gabriel. Had they been going up to Pope's office, he'd expect her presence. But IA? He knew she and the Captain were closer…well by closer it meant they'd stopped the screaming matches. But now she was willing to risk injury for the older woman? David would have to figure out more, later.

Bursting through the stairwell doors, guns drawn, Brenda audibly gasped at the scene in front of her. Through the glass doors into IA, she could a swarm of officers surrounding a very large man. Flynn entered first, the rest of the team close behind, as they attempted to make sense of what had happened. Brenda saw Elliot from across the room shaking his hand in pain, as if he'd thrown a hard punch.

"Sergeant, what happened?"

"Officer Jenkins here wasn't too happy about his IOS and decided to pay a visit to the Captain. Apparently he got through security, feigned a meeting with his division head, and entered our floor behind another officer. Before anyone knew what was happening, he was in the Captain's office. Detective Rays and I wrangled him away, but they took Captain Raydor out the back, down the emergency exit. She was pretty banged up." The Sergeant was more than a little concerned for his boss. He'd offered to go with her to the hospital, but she'd waved him away. He would need to give a statement, as soon as possible.

"Is Shar – I mean, is Captain Raydor okay? She wasn't badly hurt?" Oh shit, if something had happened to Sharon, Brenda would never forgive herself. Obviously, she couldn't have prevented the attack, but maybe if she'd finished her current investigation sooner, she and the brunette could have had an early lunch. Then she wouldn't have been in her office when this asshole came charging through the door. The Chief shook her head, there was nothing she could do. Even if she'd prevented this from happening today, she knew it was almost impossible to stop a begrudged officer from hurting Sharon at some point. If it hadn't happened today, he would have waited. And thankfully, Elliot and Rays had been here to protect her. If she'd been at the parking lot, or worse, he'd found out where she lived and she was home alone…

"No ma'am, she seemed okay. I'm sure they just wanted to check her out, document anything that was necessary. Should be a black eye, maybe a few bumps and bruises? Nothing too bad, hopefully," muttered the Sergeant.

It was taking Brenda every ounce of self-control she could muster not to throttle this Officer Jenkins, who was sitting handcuffed on the ground. No one was allowed to leave the scene until Chief Pope gave everyone the all clear. She'd already let Andy know (he was the only one who wouldn't ask too many questions) that she'd be leaving for the hospital once they were released, and now all she needed was the go-ahead from Will. She'd texted Sharon, but hadn't gotten a response. The Sergeant did say the brunette wasn't too hurt, but Brenda's mind wouldn't be put at ease until she saw the woman for herself.

Finally, what felt like hours later (really all of 20 minutes), everyone was allowed to go back to their respective divisions and the Chief sprinted toward the elevator. Realizing that everyone else had similar plans, she opted to take the 10 flights down to her car. Did this count as official police business, considering Sharon was an officer down, sort of? Hopefully, because the Chief would be using her lights and siren, rulebook be damned.

_A/N: It's midnight east coast time, Happy Birthday Jazmyne (you said you wanted an update…)! Ahhh, the dreaded plot moving chapters. Hopefully you guys enjoyed this update half as much as I enjoyed writing it. And if you don't know the song at the top, I highly encourage you to check it out…especially if you run, it gets me through some serious walls. I'd also like to give a big shout out to Ashley, who turned me on to the absolute perfection of the peach ring. Thanks for all the reviews and love thus far (especially Jaz and Ash, who got me into this medium in the first place), and comments, thoughts, suggestions are forever accepted and encouraged. xoxo_


	7. Chapter 7

_"You better call the police, call the coroner, call up your priest have them warn ya. Won't be no peace, when I find that fool. You better call the doctor, call the lawyer. I'll chase him all the way to California. Get my best, tryin' find that fool. Who did that to you?" 'Who Did That to You', John Legend_

Running into the hospital, full speed, Brenda realized that perhaps parking her car in a reserved space wasn't the best decision. There was a good chance she would get towed. Hopefully her badge was also helpful in getting the Crown Vic out of an impound lot. But in all honesty, paying $300 was worth seeing Sharon a few minutes sooner, although she hoped it didn't actually come to that.

The blonde assumed Sergeant Elliot had exaggerated a bit when he said the Captain was 'pretty banged up.' How much damage could one angry officer possibly do in a short period?

"Ma'am, I'm lookin' for a Sharon Raydor. Where would I find her room?" Brenda was laying on the southern charm pretty thick to the desk attendant in front of her. The young nurse looked up from one of the triage computers, shooting the Chief a polite smile.

"Are you family?" inquired the nurse, typing Sharon's name into the computer.

"Well…not exactly…actually I'm…" the blonde was searching for the right words until the other woman cut in.

"Unfortunately, Captain Raydor is not allowed visitors due to security concerns. But if you want to just leave your name and contact information, I'll make sure to pass it on…"

"Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson, LAPD. I need to see her, I'm sure you understand I'm not a threat…"

"No, ma'am, I can't let you in until security clears you. Let me just call up to their office…this will only take a few minutes." The nurse grabbed for the phone, dialing security's extension

The blonde let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed at her temple. She heard the nurse whispering on the phone, inquiring exactly what information was needed to grant the Chief clearance into the room.

"Ma'am, if you could just take a seat…" The attendant motioned to the waiting area across the room.

Brenda shook her head and reluctantly took a seat, hoping this process wouldn't take long. Scanning the table in front of her for a magazine, she heard her phone dinging. She located the object in the bottom of her oversized and overstuffed bag and furrowed her brow at the name that popped across the screen. Why was Detective Gabriel calling?

"Chief Johnson," muttered the blonde. Hopefully their current investigation hadn't gotten too out of hand in her absence.

"Chief, where are you? Pope's looking everywhere for you…we've, uh, we've got a case"

"I realize that, Detective, and I'll make sure to get right back to our investigation just as soon as I can…" It wasn't like they had any real leads, surely it could wait a few more hours.

"No Chief, we have a new case. Officer Jenkins is missing and Chief Pope wants us to…"

"What?! Jenkins is gone? He was cuffed when I left!" Brenda was nearly shrieking, which was gaining her some annoyed glares from others sitting in the waiting room.

"Unfortunately, another officer from his division was ordered to go with him to holding. Jenkins was able to convince him that he wasn't going to run, and cuffs were no longer necessary and…" David rolled his eyes, sometimes cops could be just plain stupid. Their blind loyalty bordered on ignorance most of the time.

"And lemmie guess…as soon as the cuffs were off, he was runnin' for the hills." Brenda was going to kill this officer if she ever got her hands on him. Not to mention, she hoped whoever was idiotic enough to uncuff him never crossed her path.

"Provenza located his car in the main lot, so he's set out on foot. We've set up a grid search, but some officers are being less than helpful."

"Well, you tell'em I want full cooperation and if not, they'll be sent home, unpaid, for the next month. I'm just gonna get Cap'n Raydor's statement and I'll be back downtown…"

"You're already at the hospital?" Something was off, the detective though. What was with this sudden interest in the Captain's well being?

"Yes, detective. I wanted to make sure Cap'n Raydor was alright, considerin' Chief Pope wasn't allowin' anyone in FID to leave the scene. I figured she might wanna see one familiar face after all that happened."

"Uhhh, okay Chief."

"Thanks, Detective. Goodbye now."

Brenda was cleared by hospital security soon after she hung up and the nurse led her down a maze of halls before stopping outside a door, flashing her hospital badge to the guard standing watch outside. Taking a deep breath before entering behind the nurse, the blonde prepared herself. Not only was she here as a concerned girlfriend, but now the investigating officer. And it wouldn't help anyone if she was an emotional mess, especially Sharon. Rounding the curtains that had been pulled almost closed, the brunette looked up, attempting a smile at her girlfriend.

"Hey, I didn't expect you to come – "

"Of course I'd come, Shar," uttered the younger woman, hiding the sadness in her voice. She walked over to the bed, lacing the Captain's hand in her own and leaning down to plant a light kiss on her lips.

The brunette looked so small in the oversized hospital bed. While Brenda had prepared herself for the possibility that Sharon would look bad, she hadn't expected the older woman's face to be so severely black and blue. The Captain's forehead was sporting a rather long gash that must have been recently stitched up. Her left eye was swollen shut and had turned dark purple. Her nose and cheek were sporting similar colored bruises and her lip had cracked at some point. While she wasn't unrecognizable, Jenkins had obviously gotten a few solid hits in before they were broken up. Brenda had to fight the urge to climb into the hospital bed, she desperately just wanted to comfort the frail woman in front of her. Unfortunately, she had an investigation to solve before there was any time for cuddling. And suddenly, she couldn't speak. She didn't want to be the one to tell Sharon that this Officer Jenkins had run, that officers had allowed him out of their site. And she certainly didn't have a desire to question her, especially in her current state.

"Shar, I dunno how to tell you this, but, uh, well after you were taken to…"

"Brenda Leigh, just spit it out. It's okay, whatever it is. Today couldn't get much worse," muttered the brunette, squeezing the younger woman's hand.

"Officer Jenkins ran. He was able to get one of his division members to take of his handcuffs and now he's out somewhere,"

The brunette hummed in response and took a deep breath, willing herself not to get worked up. Of course Jenkins' division member would respect his friend more than the Bitch of FID. Some days her job just sucked. She could handle the outward hostility at her presence on most days, the gossiping behind her back was no big deal. But the total lack of respect for her as a person and an officer, well that always hurt, no matter how many years she'd spent in FID. Sharon could feel the tears pricking at the sides of her eyes and she swallowed back a sob.

"Hey, baby, it's okay. We're gonna catch him, don't worry." The blonde leaned in, attempting to comfort Sharon, whispering reassuring words.

For the first time since this shit storm began, Sharon felt a bit of relief. It was nice to know that maybe someone, besides the officers in FID, had _her_ back. And if Brenda had anything to say about it, Major Crimes would not be going home until Jenkins was found.

"I know you probably don't wanna talk about it, but I was wonderin' if you could just tell me what happened…maybe it could help us in findin' him before he goes and does anything else." Brenda took the opportunity to brush their lips together for another quick kiss.

Sharon closed her eyes, willing herself back to the scene that had taken place.

"I was sitting at my desk, finishing up my report on a couple of robbery officers when Jenkins burst in." The Captain let out a deep breath, than continued.

"I didn't get up, I wasn't sure exactly what he wanted. He started yelling about his investigation, how I wasn't being fair by not allowing him to go back to active duty. I invited him to sit down, hoping it would calm him down…"

"And?"

"And, well, he didn't sit. He lunged and grabbed my hair, smashed my face against the desk. That's the last thing I remember clearly, although I'm pretty sure he pulled me up and hit me in the face a few times. Oh God, how bad is my face?"

"It's not great, but you're still beautiful, Cap'n Raydor, even when you're all banged up...So what happened next?" Brenda smiled at the brunette. She really was gorgeous, even in her current state. Her strength throughout this ordeal was incredible and the blonde hoped that she could one day exhibit even half of that bravery when something so horrible happened.

"I heard Sergeant Elliot and Rays screaming, they must have pulled Jenkins off. By that time backup came and someone took me out the emergency exit, down to the ambulance bay."

"Any idea what provoked Jenkins?" Brenda made a mental note to not allow herself to be left alone with this man. She was one hundred percent going to kill him if she got the chance. Well, maybe not kill, but definitely hurt. Perhaps she could explain a shot to the kneecap? The good old 'I was protecting my girlfriend from this asshole' excuse could work, couldn't it?

"Honestly, no. His investigation is pretty standard, nothing too out of the ordinary. In fact, I'm not the one that is holding him up, he would have been cleared for active duty once Behavioral Science felt he was more emotionally stable. Apparently, they felt he was still on edge after the shooting…maybe they had a point."

The answer hit Brenda like a ton of bricks, which was pretty much the standard in her profession. She would love to attribute her skill as a closer to her incredible intelligence or keen investigatory abilities, but most of the time it was just pure, dumb luck. A gut instinct, brought on usually by something seemingly insignificant. Contrary to her initial hunch, this wasn't retribution for some vendetta Officer Jenkins had toward Sharon, he was just trying to get rid of anything standing in his way of being cleared. And now, if she were a betting woman, she would double down that he was headed for Behavioral Science's offices.

"Shar, I think I know where were he might be headin' so I've gotta go. I'll be back as soon as I can, promise."

"Go catch the bad guys, Brenda Leigh. I'm sure I'll be here for awhile."

Clipping out of Sharon's room, she flipped open her phone and pressed '5". Speed dial could be one of the most intelligent inventions ever.

"This is Gabriel"

"Detective, Jenkins' headed for Behavioral Sciences, I'm sure of it. You and Sánchez head over, make sure not to use your lights. We don't wanna draw too much attention. Call me if you can't find him, but I'm pretty certain he's headin' there. I'll meet you downtown."

10 minutes from headquarters, Brenda got a call from Julio that they'd found Officer Jenkins lurking in the waiting room, looking for an opportunity to strike when there weren't any witnesses. The Chief had about 15 minutes to prepare and she was going to need every moment.

Sánchez practically had to drag Jenkins into the interview room, depositing him on the seat across from the blonde. She'd made it downtown first and had enough time to put together a small file of FID's statements and reports regarding both his IOS and recent attack on Sharon.

"Hello, Officer Jenkins. I'm Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh John – "

"I know who you are," deadpanned the older man.

"Alright, then I guess you already know that you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used…"

"I already told him in the hall, I waive my rights. I got nothing to hide." Brenda rolled her eyes, Officer Jenkins was positively charming.

"Well if you got nothin' to hide, would you mind tellin' me exactly why you came up to FID around, 11am, and decided to attack Cap'n Raydor?" She looked directly at him, a challenge in her stare.

"She's a fucking bitch, she deserves everything she had coming and more." He met her eyes, daring her to stay something to contrary. Jenkins knew the history between those two women, their fights were gossiped about throughout the LAPD. There was no way the Chief would stick up for the Wicked Witch, especially after that transparency audit he'd heard about last year.

"She's an officer, just like you. And all she's tryin' to do is her job. It says here in FID's report that you took a questionable shot at a suspect and…"

"You're questioning my job, ma'am?! Shouldn't you be questioning her? That cunt is the reason good officers are taken off the streets. She doesn't work for us, she works against us. And I'd do it all over again, if I could. Except this time, I'd finish the job for my fellow officers. I would think you, of all people, would want the bitch of FID gone…"

Brenda saw red and before she knew it, she'd grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him up. Face inches from his, she willed herself not to attack.

"Don't you _ever_ call yourself an officer again, you don't deserve the badge. How dare you hurt that woman, say those terrible things. You are the most disgustin' excuse for a human being I've seen in quite some time and I hope, once Cap'n Raydor is better, her investigation puts you away for life," hissed the blonde. She'd pinned him against the wall, anger bubbling over. Never mind Sharon being her girlfriend, she was an officer and deserved better. Contrary to popular belief, FID did their damndest to clear any officer they could of wrongdoing. Sharon had gone to hell and back for the Chief during the Goldman suit. And Brenda was tired of all the nonsense, the disrespect, and the petty bullshit that these men and women heaped onto Internal Affairs. It wasn't until she heard Sánchez speaking that she came to, grounding herself back to the current situation. She still had Jenkins against the wall, but now she was shaking, tears pricking at her eyes.

"Chief, chief, you need to let him go – "

Brenda released her grip and backed away, letting Sánchez roughly handcuff him. It was good to know that she wasn't alone, obviously Julio wasn't too amused by the fallen officer or his repulsive antics. Pulling herself together, she glanced back at the despicable man in front of her.

"Oh, just one more thing _mister _Jenkins. Captain Raydor had planned to clear you, it said so in your IOS file. So I hope this was all worth it," snarled the Chief. With that, she grabbed her purse and headed out of the interview and out of the building.

Brenda allowed herself to sob for the duration of her drive back to the hospital. Better she get it out now, in the comfort of her own car, then in front of Sharon. The last few hours had been a nightmare, they'd brought up a whole host of feelings the blonde couldn't accurately identify. She was more than a little freaked out about her girlfriend getting beaten to a pulp, bright and early Monday morning. If this was a 'pretty standard IOS' according the Captain, Brenda could only imagine what a messy one would be like. Taking the oath to protect and serve made any officer vulnerable to attack, but it seemed there was a rather specific, serious undercurrent of hatred surrounding those who worked in IA. While the younger woman had dealt with the worry of a significant other being in hostile situations (Fritz was in the FBI, although he was in hostage negotiations than the LAPD liaison...nothing too scary), she was unsure if she would be able to handle this near constant concern that had settled in her mind soon after the attack. She'd never felt so much, so quickly, for another person. And the thought of losing Sharon after they'd only just begun was incredibly frightening. It seemed with her position, these situations could be a normal occurence. Compounded on that fear was the fear of this relationship in general. She'd never felt so overwhelmed by her desire to care for another and by a woman, no less. It was obvious that Sharon felt something as well, but there was still so much she didn't know. And sometimes, over the past week, she would notice the brunette staring off, deep in thought. She'd stopped herself from asking about it, although if Sharon's face was any indication, it wasn't good. It made the blonde a little nervous, there was obviously much more to her girlfriend then what she talked about. In those moments, however fleeting they were, Brenda felt she was losing the Captain all over again. Losing her to a past, to whatever it was she didn't want to say. As much as the blonde had already invested in this new relationship, it was hard to feel like she wouldn't always be on the losing end of some battle she didn't understand. She'd ask, eventually, but for now she'd enjoy this infatuation before things got too heavy.

Brenda tiptoed into the room, hoping not to disturb the older woman if she was resting. Since Jenkins arrest, there was no longer a security guard posted outside and it had been much easier to visit. Although, she'd stopped a couple of times for directions, hospital halls always looked the same. Setting her bag on the ground, she laid down on the bed and curled her body around the Captain. Sharon looked so peaceful when she was asleep.

"Hey, Shar," murmured the younger woman as she lightly kissed the brunette's shoulder.

"When did you get here," Sharon drowsily responded. While the hospital was a less than ideal place to wake up, at least she had Brenda curled around her.

"Just now. You can keep restin', I just wanted you to know I was here."

"Did you close your case?" inquired the older woman.

"Why yes, baby, we did. Jenkins will no longer be botherin' you, or anyone else for that matter. Well maybe he cellmates, but I guess that's their penance." Brenda snuggled into soft brown hair, pulling the Captain a little closer.

"Thank you, Brenda Leigh," Sharon husked. She would properly express her gratitude once she was out of the hospital and off these drugs. But for now, a thank you would suffice.

"For what? I was just doin' my job."

"I know…but it's nice to feel like someone has my back besides FID. Sometimes it's hard at work, it always feels like the deck is stacked against me." The older woman yawned, exhausted by the incredibly long day.

"Don't you worry, Shar. I'll always have your back. Go back to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up," whispered the blonde.

_A/N: Final chapter before a little birthday hiatus to Boston for a week (don't expect anything until next Wednesday at the earliest), hope you guys enjoy! Seriously amazing song, basically wrote this section for me. And my first foray into the crime aspect of their lives, although it was pretty basic. Thanks for all the love so far…any comments, thoughts, suggestions are always welcome. xoxo_


	8. Chapter 8

**Trigger Warning:** While I don't know if this chapter necessarily needs one, I want to make sure everyone is protected from the possibility. This chapter gets into moderate detail of alcoholism. If you are part of alanon or the child/family member of an alcoholic, realize this could bring things up. Please use caution, I don't want any reader upset.

_'Set me free, leave me be, I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm suppose to be. But you're on to me and all over me. I live here on my knees, as I try and make you see that you're everything I need here on the ground. You're neither friend nor foe, though I can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.' **'Gravity', Sara Bareillis**_

"Now Captain, from what I understand you're a bit of a workaholic...so I'm going to need you to try and take it slow for the rest of the week," instructed the young doctor as he handed Sharon some initial paperwork.

Well, perfect. This week was drastically turning from bearable to a fucking mess. 'Taking it easy' (aka bed rest) sounded about as exciting as watching grass grow. The brunette surmised she could perhaps convince her eldest daughter to drop by. Although between pregnancy and her full-time job, Annie didn't have much time to spare these days. If she couldn't handle a simple weekly phone call, it was hard for the Captain to imagine her rushing to her injured mother's side. And there was no way she'd call Tori. Between her quest for an exhibition location and pressing social life in NYC, it wouldn't be fair to have the younger girl fly cross-country for a possible concussion watch. Now the question was, who to ask over? The obvious answer was Brenda, but it wasn't like the blonde could just opt out of any possible evening cases this week. Maybe family would have to do.

Oh - and then there was the fact that it was April 2nd. Which meant Saturday, a measly 4 days away, the Raydor women would once again find themselves in an all too familiar dance. Awkwardly calling to check in on each other, skirting around what no one was willing to say. Sharon gave herself permission each year to fall apart on the 6th, revisit those memories that she'd normally keep tucked away in the dark recesses of her mind. So it really wasn't fair to ask either of her daughters to tend to her, they'd be too busy handling their own feelings. Not to mention, she wasn't interested in visitors in general during that time. She didn't need to be on display during one of the lowest moments of her year.

"Dr. Schultz, how often will I need someone to actually stay with me?" inquired the brunette.

"Hmm, I would definitely ask a relative, or friend perhaps, to stay over through the weekend. During the day, make sure you're at least checking in with someone. Your head was pretty banged up, so we just want to make sure you don't develop a concussion. You should be out of the woods in the next 72 hours, although it's always better to be safe then sorry." The doctor gave her a smile and headed for the door. Turning back, he added, "and remember, light-headed, dizzy, bad headache, come back here as soon as possible. Don't hesitate to call...oh and your boss, that blonde woman? She stressed how important it was that you were back in tip-top shape."

Sharon rolled her eyes at the thought. Of course Brenda had the doctor eating out of the palm of her adorable hand. She couldn't imagine what other information her southern belle had coerced out of the staff, but it appeared she most likely now had a babysitter if she'd been privy to that information. And the blonde wouldn't take no for an answer, that's for sure.

The nurse looked up from taking the older woman's last vitals, "Actually, she, what was her name? Chief Johnson? She asked me to remind you to call her once you were discharged. Did you want me to let her know or..."

"I'll call - and she's not my boss, she's just a..." Sharon was still floundering for the word when the nurse cut it.

"Oh, I figured as much. She seemed concerned...far more concerned then an employer. Not to mention, We don't see many 'bosses' spooning their team members." The younger woman gave Sharon a wink and a knowing smile before exiting the room.

Sharon grabbed her phone off the bedside table and scanned through her address book until she located the blonde's number. Pressing send, Brenda picked up within the second ring.

"Hey Shar, how you feelin'? When are the lettin' you go? Your doctor said somethin' about you gettin' out this afternoon when..." the Chief had been mindlessly looking over paperwork when the older woman called. Normally she wouldn't wait around, willing her phone to ring. But considering the doctor had told her there was a good chance Sharon would be released that afternoon, she'd set up camp at her desk and hoped her team didn't catch a case.

"_Brenda Leigh_, who all did you talk to this morning? And how did you even get them to talk to you, you're not family."

"It's called a badge, baby, and a little southern charm," deadpanned the blonde. "And anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were really okay." Brenda knew Sharon well, she'd say she was fine, that no one needed to worry. The Chief had just wanted to get the opinion of someone who wouldn't sugar coat it or try to minimize. Being in the force for the better part of 20 years, she'd seen her fair share of head injuries. Most of the time, the bumps and bruises faded and the officer was back in action within a few days. But there was always that friend of a friend, the horror story. She wasn't about to let Sharon become one of those stories told around the water cooler.

Sharon was taken aback, just a bit, by the level of genuine concern in the blonde's voice. Obviously she cared, they were dating now, but it'd been some time since anyone had taken such an active role in the older woman's life. Even John hadn't been this concerned when she'd been injured on the job. Looking back, the only time she actively remembered him taking an interest in much of anything was when he'd hear on the news that an officer had been shot. He'd usually call her work extension. Not to check in, or make sure she was okay, but to make sure she was still breathing and that she would still be picking up the girls from school. John never wanted to leave the bottle behind, not if he didn't absolutely have to.

"Actually the doctor is finishing up the paperwork now, I should be out within the next 30 minutes or so," Sharon responded.

"Alright, well I'm basically done here. If I leave now, I'll be there in less than an hour," replied the blonde as she signed her name at the bottom of Jenkins' report. He'd be going away for a few years, at least, and she couldn't help but smile.

"It's okay, you don't need to do that, I can just call a cab and..."

"Sharon Raydor, I'm not lettin' you take a cab home after you've been in the hospital all night. I'm more than happy to pick you up and get you settled in at home."

"Well, actually, there's one more thing. I, uh, well I need someone..." Asking for help was something the Captain hardly ever did and now she was struggling to find the words.

"I packed a bag this mornin', don't you worry. I was plannin' on tryin' to convince you to let me stay anyway. So imagine my relief when your doctor let me know you'd need someone around for the rest of the week. I'm gonna come here durin' the day, but I'll be back to your house in the evenin'," chirped the blonde as she grabbed for the papers on her desk, depositing them in her oversized purse.

"What if you catch a case?" As excited as Sharon was about how willing the Chief was to drop everything to help, she knew how much the job meant to Brenda.

"The boys have been complainin' for months that I don't give them a chance to hone their closin' techniques...so they'll get their chance this week."

"I'm warning you now, I'm not the easiest person to deal with when I'm sick..."

"Figured as much. Nothin' is ever easy with you," smirked the younger woman.

Brenda insisted on helping the brunette into the house, even though she was more than able to walk. After depositing Sharon in her room and assembling a variety of things to keep her occupied, the younger woman leaned down and lightly brushed their lips together.

"You wait right here, baby, and I'll go make us somethin' to eat. And don't worry, by 'make', I mean I will order somethin' lovely from that Mexican restaurant down the street."

"Sounds great. Thanks again, for agreeing to stay. I'm sorry if it completely ruins things for you at work," muttered the older woman, smiling sadly.

"You couldn't ruin anything, Shar. I'm just happy to be helpin' you."

20 minutes later, Sharon found herself clicking through all the digital cable channels for the third time. Nothing to watch and nothing to do, the older woman was close to pulling her hair out. The brunette fancied herself a rather nonviolent human, for the most part, but she'd give almost anything for a couple of pot shots at one former Officer now. Not being downtown, she'd miss a host of briefings, cases, and standard FID procedures. While she was lying around, Jenkins might as well stack the paperwork on her desk himself. Come next week, she'd been chained to her desk, trying to catch up. Yes, Jenkins could go fuck himself.

Sighing, she laid back and snuggled into the comforter. This week couldn't be so bad, right? Now the Captain had ample time to catch up on reading, maybe clear out her DVR. And Brenda would be here in the evenings to entertain her. The brunette soon found her mind wandering...these last few weeks had been suprising and simultaneously terrifying. She wouldn't kid herself, Sharon knew she was a lot to handle. Between her sometimes rigid personality and inability to express her feelings, being with her wasn't a walk in the park. Which was why it was so hard to understand why that perfect, incredible, amazing blonde had picked her. After all those years in a disaster of a marriage, hoping beyond hope that something would change, she'd resigned herself to the fact that happiness just wasn't in the cards. Her girls gave her an incredible amount of joy, but it seemed her love was never good enough to keep a relationship together. The brunette surmised that John had only been the beginning, although he'd set her up for a lifetime of self-doubt.

_Sharon met John Raydor during her first year as a Boston Police Department officer. Working under the Assistant District Attorney, he had big plans for the future. The brunette had never gotten too serious about dating during college, setting her sights solely on the academy and climbing the ranks. John was a pleasant surprise in her otherwise single life. Caring, charming, a hopeless romantic, they always had a great time together. It was like she'd known him her entire life, they almost never stopped laughing, talking, kissing. Sharon felt as giddy as school girl when he'd call and quickly she couldn't imagine life without him. John appeared to feel the same and within six months they were engaged, desperate to merge their lives completely. Sharon's strict Catholic upbringing forbid them to cohabitate, so they wed twelve weeks later. Finally, she felt like this was her chance for a happy ending and they settled down looking forward to their future. The brunette found herself pregnant almost immediately with her eldest daughter and then things really began to unravel._

_She'd always noticed that John enjoyed going out and having a good time, but she began finding vodka bottles hidden throughout the house. The brunette would go looking for a hammer and find empties stashed in the tool chest or the back of a guest bedroom closet. One night she'd decided to surprise him with one of his favorite dishes, chicken marsala with white wine sauce, and found that the bottle of cooking wine had been emptied and replaced with water. This discovery led her to their shared liquor cabinet, where she'd found most of the bottles drained and contents replaced. There was also the debt, which he'd conveniently forgotten to mention until after they'd wed. Sharon now found herself getting calls from bill collectors, acquiring his astronomical debt the minute she'd said, "I do."_

_During those last few months before Anne's birth, Sharon seriously considered leaving. They fought constantly about money, his drinking, and what their future could look like. He'd promised to consider rehab, to look into taking care of the debt and she believed him. Between the two of them, this all could work out. But the baby came and the excuses continued. Something would come up at work, he didn't have time to get help until after this one last case. The cycle continued for months until Annie's second birthday._

_John had been drinking all day, although it didn't seem like much more than his usual. The morning started just like every one before with a screwdriver (or 3), even though he told the brunette it was just orange juice. After at few cocktails, he'd switch to whatever beer was lying around. Most of the time, Molson or Bud Ice as they had the highest alcohol content per container. He appeared to be about three beers deep when the first guest arrived, but managed to almost seamlessly glide through grilling and helping to finish the meal. The brunette found he was a relatively functional drunk, most days. It wasn't until desert that she'd noticed he was missing. He'd been present for 'Happy Birthday', but vanished soon after the cake was cut. Searching the house, she found him upstairs lying on their bed, sobbing. He was completely inebriated, slurring what little he could mutter._

_"I need help, I can't do this anymore," he confessed, hardly able to get out words between the tears._

_"Shhh, it's okay. We'll figure this out, I promise," she whispered, attempting to comfort her now broken husband._

_The following day they'd called around together and John eagerly agreed to begin outpatient treatment on Monday. Sharon woke that first day feeling that perhaps things would get better. As much as she'd thought about leaving him, her child needed a father. And if she was honest, she needed a husband, a partner, someone to share her life with. She held onto those happy memories from the beginning, hoping life would one day return to how it'd been during their first few months together. Not to mention, her parents would never forgive her if she divorced. Most importantly, she couldn't turn her back on her husband, she had meant it when she said, "for better or worse."_

_Outpatient therapy seemed to be working and soon Sharon recognized the man she had married. John was spending more time with the family and she finally felt that they were regaining intimacy in their relationship. While dating, they'd shared an active sex life which continued well into their marriage, until John's drinking had increased. Over the past year or two, he'd usually pass out in the evenings after a couple drinks too many. The few times he was interested, it had been almost impossible and he hadn't been able to get it up. While marriage was about more than sex, Sharon missed the physical closeness, those shared moments of pleasure that couldn't be replaced with words. So the brunette wasn't too surprised when she found herself pregnant again, they were acting like a couple of horny teenagers ever since he'd sobered up._

_John was discharged from his outpatient program after the allotted ninety days with a prescription for Antabuse and instructions to attend his first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting the following morning. He lasted a little over three meetings in AA and never did get the prescription filled, claiming he wanted to remain sober without help. Soon Sharon discovered empties around the house and she was once again pregnant and alone. Her second daughter, Victoria, was born seven months later._

_Thankfully, Sharon had her two girls and she immersed herself in being the best mother she could, attempting to make up for the fact that their father had minimal interest in girl's lives. She also used what measly savings she had to pay of most of John's debt, no longer wanting that hanging over their heads while her children were growing up. By the time Tori was 3, the brunette and John slept in opposite rooms, blaming his snoring or her erratic hours when the girls asked. They led mostly separate lives as John sunk deeper into his alcoholism and Sharon tried to distract herself with her children and their activities._

_The only time the couple spoke was during family dinner, an event that John expected every evening. It was something he had always done as a child and wanted to continue the tradition with his own family. Sharon wasn't sure why he was so interested in them all sitting down together, as he was always drunk by and it almost inevitably ended in fighting of some sort. During these meals, the brunette did as much as she could to protect her girls from his verbal thrashing. But she could see how much his alcoholism, anger, and general unhappiness was affecting them. He used dinnertime to point out how disappointing his daughters and wife were, exploiting their weaknesses and flaws to make them as miserable as he obviously was. Most nights ended in relative calm, the girls and Sharon excusing themselves to hide from John and lick their wounds, while other nights erupted in full on name calling, glass throwing, and shouting matches. It was hard to say how any evening would play out at the Raydor dinner table._

_By the time the girls were in high school, Sharon found herself very much alone. Annie and Tori spent as many nights as they could out with friends, opting to be anywhere but home. The brunette knew they were just trying to get away from their father and his unhappiness, but couldn't help feeling that they had abandoned her too. It was also during this time that Sharon was transferred to Internal Affairs. She threw herself into her investigations, avoiding her chaotic home life. Soon she wasn't getting to the house until close to midnight and leaving early the next morning, claiming she had caught a case. Once immersed in IA, she climbed up the ranks at lightning speed and found herself promoted to Captain of the Force Investigation Division. Being the first woman to head her on division within IA, she expected John to at least acknowledge her achievement. Instead he made a rather off-color joke inferring that Sharon had slept her way to the top, seeing as she wore so many low-cut tops and tight-fitting suits, in front of her girls no less. Sharon internally snapped. She had put up with his bullshit and unhappiness for 18 years, and she could no longer stand to be a part of this sham they were calling a marriage. This was the last straw, if he couldn't be happy for one second or at least fake an interest in her incredible achievement, she could no longer smile her way through the charade that had become her life. While she politely conversed with her family through the rest of dinner, she was mentally elsewhere, planning her escape._

_Early the next morning she drove the 4 hours to her parent's house and fell apart. They'd expressed their concern and attempted to convince her to give him one more chance. Divorce wasn't an option in their mind. But the brunette had made her decision and no religion was going to force her into staying. Sharon told her girls the next day that she was leaving, but gave them the option to stay with their father if he allowed it. It would be unfair to force them from the home they grew up in and she didn't want to sway their decision. Ultimately they both chose to go with her, it was a no brainer in their eyes. _

_The easiest part had been admitting her unhappiness to John. Being a true narcissist, he told Sharon she would be back within the month. She would never be able to make it without him. That was 15 years ago and she was still doing just fine. It had been hard, especially during that first year, but she'd made it. The brunette couldn't say the same about her ex._


End file.
